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S. Michael Houdmann
Supporter
Scripture is clear that marriage is part of the creation mandate. The only thing in creation that God pronounced "not good" was man's aloneness (Genesis 2:18), so woman was created, and the marriag...
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Seth Freeman
Supporter
If you're a Christian, the only instance in which you are permitted to initiate a divorce is if your spouse commits adultery. This is the one and only exception clause given in Scripture that permits a Believing spouse to initiate a divorce and it not be sin.
Albert Ogier
Supporter
Jesus answers the Pharisees by saying "he who created them from the beginning made them male and female". Note; he did not create man or woman he created them equal and it was Adam who created the title woman. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let not man separate". Matt 19: 4-7. This was quoting from Gen 2:24. By saying from the beginning Jesus was putting to rest an argument at that time as to whether it was a command from Adam's time or from the time of Moses. This was before there were any priests, temples, popes or churches, when a man and a woman came together (had sex) then they were married. The ceremony that was introduced later was to celebrate, to ask God's blessing and ask friends and others to pray and support the married couple. Remember Henry 8th? If the marriage was not consummated then the Pope agreed to annul it. This was not a divorce, it did not matter what church or state had said, no sex, no marriage. The annulment said it had never happened. It is only since we have had a parliament that they have insisted that there is an official record of a marriage and since then it become a belief that the church or the state authorises the marriage. That is not true only God decides. Even a civil service used to start "We are gathered together in the sight of God.....". That has been dropped but it is still true. I do not know if the phrase "till death us do part", has also been dropped but that is also true, only death can separate what God has joined. Nothing that church or state says can alter that. So what about the debate that continues in Matthew's Gospel 19:7&8 about divorce? The word divorce has crept in to translation but was originally separation. There is a huge difference between a legal separation and divorce. A legal separation allows someone to be free from getting a bad reputation from their spouse, free from debts incurred by the spouse, or free from abuse. It does not mean that any party may remarry. Surely the last thing that anyone should want if they have suffered in any way is that the abusive partner is free to marry someone else and do the same to them but that is exactly what the state is encouraging. Matthew 19:9 has many versions: "whoever leaves his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." or "makes her commit adultery." or" whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery," When they married the two became one flesh. If one party has sex with a third person that is adultery. As princess Diana famously put it there are now three in the marriage. Why Jesus said sexual immorality was an exception was that if a person has already committed sexual immorality i.e. has become an adulteress then nothing the husband does can change that. He cannot make her into something she is already. It does not give it as grounds for divorce. The state may legalise adultery, the church may agree to celebrate and bless adultery but it is still adultery. There may be many reasons why a husband and wife should move apart but there are no biblical grounds to divorce or remarry. The rest has crept in because of state intervention..
Philip Davies
Supporter
I have found that in this area of marriage and divorce Christians can become most censorious, and readily forget that mercy and love should be recognised as the heart of the way Jesus treats us, and how we should look upon others. We need to be careful not to become those who happily tie burdens on people's backs and don't lift a finger to help. My understanding of this is based on Paul's instruction to the Corinthians. "If the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances." (1Cor 7:15) The key phrase here is "not bound". What does that mean? It can only mean not bound in marriage. If there is no marriage bond, then the person is free to marry another person in such circumstances. God is a God of justice and fairness. He does not punish the innocent for things they have not done. And it would do us well to reflect the mercy of God to those who have suffered such pain in their relationships. I hope that helps. --Philip
Jeff Mann
Supporter
Marriage should involve two people of opposite sex, both believers who are actively involved in their faith by reading the Word, actively participating in a body of believers, daily prayer, and allowing God's love to flow out of them to others. From this, intimacy between partners should flow if Jesus is at the head of the relationship. I said all of this because it sets a model for how a fruitful marriage should work. However, because we live in such a complex world with SO many variables, choices & stresses society can place on us, it is not always easy to keep Jesus in the driver's seat. Once he ends up in the back seat of the marriage or worse--not in the car at all--then it is just a matter of time before sins get committed and the marriage falls apart. As for abandonment, I would point you to: 1 Corinthians 7:15: But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. Obviously, there were differences that could not be resolved in the marriage and they left you. They divorced YOU by leaving! So, finalize the divorce legally, consider some post-marriage counseling, and explore where you may have gone wrong. James 1:5 promises us that the Holy Spirit will provide us with wisdom if we seek it from Him in faith. When we are completely honest with ourselves and the Father, this He will do for us. Remember to keep Jesus first in your life through reading His Word, fellowship with other believers, and prayer daily, which pleases the Father. After that, if God has someone else for you, he will bring them into your life, but don't rush into anything!
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