Tim Maas Supporter Retired Quality Assurance Specialist with the U.S. Army

We can't necessarily make our emotions behave in a particular manner, but we can control our actions. One of my favorite Christian commentators, C. S. Lewis, said that, in a case such as the questioner describes, individuals should ask themselves, "How would I behave or act toward this person if I DID love him or her?", and then act that way. Over time, they will find that their feelings will follow their actions. And, in the interim, they will be doing all that God requires by those actions.

Another way for Christians is always to be mindful of the repeated manner in which God has forgiven them for Christ's sake, despite their many personal sins and shortcomings, and then treat other individuals' faults in the same manner. (In fact, Jesus even went so far as to say that God's forgiveness of us is conditioned upon our forgiveness of others (Matthew 6:14-15).) 

I would suggest reading the chapter on forgiveness in Lewis' short book Mere Christianity.

August 10 2020 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Danny Hickman Supporter Believer in The Gospel Of Jesus Christ

I think you are selling yourself short. I don't think your heart is in the shape you believe it to be. You want to feel differently about someone who annoys you. Your heart seems to be in the right place, in my opinion. I think you want what is next to impossible: to be not annoyed by that which is annoying to you. That's like expecting to become comfortable with being burned; it will never FEEL right! You cannot become okay with feeling hurt! 

So what should you do? 

You might not like this; it might sound trite and you might be annoyed by it, but here it is: "Take up your cross and follow Jesus." (Matthew 16:24)

This isn't said to be love potion #9 or something like that. A cross doesn't cure the blues or make the storm clouds disappear. It changes the way we look at life. It makes us see life for what it is. It's a constant struggle! We can do it alone or we can do life following Jesus. Either way, we struggle. Jesus gives our life true meaning. We find ourselves when we consider ourselves in relation to Him.

This person about whom you are complaining sounds like a "thorn" in your flesh. In your own words, this thorn has persisted for a long time. I'm only guessing, but I don't believe God is going to remove it any time soon. But there's good news:

His grace is sufficient for you! (2 Corinthians 12:9). Praise God that His mercy endures forever (Psalm 136). Ask Jesus for a cup of water that can rid you of ever again becoming thirsty (John 4). You'll do fine when you adopt this as your default condition.

6 days ago • 2 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report