What should a wife do when her husband is cruel?
Although Biblical marriage calls couples to yield or submit to one another, most specifically wives to husbands (Ephesians 5:22), it’s a concept widely rejected in today’s society, even among many Christians who believe it’s no longer culturally relevant.
1 Samuel 25:1 - 44
ESV - 1 Now Samuel died. And all Israel assembled and mourned for him, and they buried him in his house at Ramah. Then David rose and went down to the wilderness of Paran. 2 And there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel. The man was very rich; he had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. He was shearing his sheep in Carmel.
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Asked January 30 2021
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Jack Gutknecht
Supporter
For follow-up discussion and general commentary on the topic. Comments are sorted chronologically.
Danny Hickman
I've never been a wife, so I don't know what a wife should do if she's being treated cruelly; but I've been a husband for 51 years. If my wife Faye had started being cruel to me 50 years ago, we wouldn't have lasted 2 years. I would have bailed and never looked back! The world can be a cruel place; I wouldn't wanna try to deal with a cruel spouse!
I don't know what other people SHOULD DO when their mate treats them badly. I do know what I'd do. I would try first to reason with her. I'd expect an immediate reversal. If it didn't happen I'd give the post office my forwarding address. What I would do next would depend on my spouse. I'd try to see to her getting the right kind of help for a disturbed person. (A person who mistreats the person they are claiming to love is very disturbed; they probably need professional help). If she wouldn't be reasonable I'd move on.
I've never wanted my wife Faye to submit to me. Love me, yes. Submit..? For what reason? It could be that I'd feel differently if she was brash and controlling. I've known that kind of wife. I still don't think I'd want her to submit to me. I'd want her to respect me as a man. I'd want her to recognize the reality of the male ego, the same way I try to recognize the reality of the female emotional mindset. That has nothing to do with our positions as husband and wife.
I expect EVERY other living person to respect my male ego! It's a major factor in our ability to co-exist peacefully. Submission is overkill.