Paula Fether Supporter Lifelong student of the scriptures

All Christians are commanded to love, so we must ask why Paul is emphasizing it for husbands in this context. The social context was one where husbands had absolute rule over wives, so what Paul was telling Christian husbands was to love their wives instead of lording over them. Verse 25 and 33 both say "husbands, love your wives", so everything between them is what that looks like in practice.

Knowing this, we can ask the same question about wives and "submission" in verse 24. Verse 21 speaks of mutual submission, which means it can't mean one-way submission of women to men. Notice in verse 22 that Paul says "your OWN husbands". Why? Because it's about loyalty, not obedience. Women hardly needed to be told to obey men, as that was the cultural norm. In verse 23 the Greek word for head is kephale, which never meant a boss or authority in the first century. Referencing the creation account in Genesis, the meaning "source" makes sense here (as we would when we speak of the head of a river). So Paul is saying here that since husband and wife were created as one flesh, they should both be united, with each going against society to model the unity of Christ and his Body, the church.

We need to stop reading into the scriptures our cultural assumptions, and any undue concern about making adult Christians either rule or obey each other. A married couple should be partners, pulling together, not fighting each other for control. Scripture says "submit to each other", and "love one another", to all.

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