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Janet Austin
Supporter
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. Would you be able to see it this way: that your wife kept things secret because she never wanted to hurt you? If you can agree to that (that she acted with kindness rather than deceit), it will help. Also, we must always remind ourselves that we have all failed, yet God forgives us. That said, sit with your wife and look each other in the eyes and tell the truth about how you feel. For example: I feel hurt and deceived and angry. I also have been very happy these past X-number of years as your husband and father to (name). I need to know that you consider me the true father as I have raised the child. Being the biological father is not as important as being the real father who cared for and supported the two of you. May I also suggest you write down your thoughts before discussing things with your wife? It helps to keep us on point and avoid escalation of tempers. I wish you the best. And I believe you can move forward happily.
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