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For various reasons, couples want separate bank accounts. Money is the number-one cause of problems in marriage, and because the issue of finances is the most common source of arguments in marriage...
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I prayed over this question, along with others. I thought it was alright to not only have seperate banks accounts, but to have prenuptial agreements. I still struggle with the latter. This is what I believe I heard from the Lord regarding different bank accounts. It is not a problem when a spouse have a spending account, an account with a minimal amount, set aside specifically for spending, but one the husband or wife still will have access to. However, the major money accounts are to be in both names, where we both oversee together, but remember, your husband is head! Meaning, it is his responsibility to handle money matters, and he might decide that he is no good at it and give it over to the wife, who could be more sound in her abilities to handle or manage money, but he (the man) should agree and make the decision overall. I thank God, that I have no issues with submission and spiritually and instinctively I sense and understand why God placed the order of man & woman as he did, the man as the cover. It is the enemy who seek to distort, divide and break away from God's order. A friend directed me to Proverbs 31, it summed my role up as a good wife and I read through it often.
I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. Just whatever the two agree on. However to me and for me and my wife having separate accounts indicates a division and a separation because we are supposed to be one flesh. It is like it says in Corinthians about not letting your right hand know what your left hand is doing. But the body, in order to function, needs to know what each member is doing in order to move in any direction. Think of your two feet moving in opposite directions.
The importance here is not the "One checking/savings account or two" (or even more) but the "Why?" The Bible teaches us that when we get married we are to become "One". We can be "One" and have any number of accounts. There are practical and other legit reasons to have more than one. Privacy is NOT a legit reason. Secrecy is not a legit reason. Mutually agreed allowance, on the other hand, might possibly be fine as well as accounting and others. Once we truly become one, all the "wrong" answers to the "why" question disappear. Oneness is a heart issue. When you think of yourself as one unit, submitted to God, not two separate individuals, these questions become a non issue. I personally believe that those couples who "keep their money seperate" have never become one and are denying themselves the benefit of following biblical wisdom (best case) if not outright sinning (rejecting God).
Having seperate accounts can give you independence, and in certain instances having one account isn't the best choice. Your spouse could have an addiction and spend the money carelessly, or they could have multiple debts you were unaware of. A joint account can also be problematic if the relationship ends. If the couple decides to end the relationshiop, the funds in a joint account can be messy to separate. Each spouse has every right to withdraw money and close the account without the consent of the other, and one party can easily leave the other penniless. Separate bank accounts prevent that scenario and can allow for an easier separation that often doesn’t involve a long dispute to fully separate the finances. There are a few advantages to having a joint account. For example, sharing an account allows each spouse access to money when they need it. Joint bank accounts usually provide each account holder with a debit card, a checkbook and the ability to make deposits and withdraw funds. If your bank provides it, each of you would also have online access to account information and tools, which can simplify paying bills and other shared financial tasks. Some legal affairs are also easier with joint bank accounts. In the event that one spouse passes away, the other spouse will retain access to the funds in a joint account without having to refer to a will or go through the legal system to claim the money. Depending on the state and local laws, the surviving spouse may have to go through a lengthy legal process to claim money in a separate account. With a joint account, it could make it easier to track finances because all money goes in and out of one account. In the end, it's your decision.
I believe the husband must be clear with how he spends the money, but must be in charge. A budget must be followed as discussed with the family. The husband must provide accordingly to what is discussed. I believe that each family member can do with the pocket money or "salary" allocated to them whatever they want to. I believe as head of the house the godly man, whether he is the bread winner or not, must decide on a budget plan. As said he must then allocate into the accounts the money as planned. However, as a family open discussion on needs and changes in the game plan should also happen. If the women has an occupation as well and earns a salary, the money she earns must be paid into a family or central account from where the head of the house will in accordance with him being led by the Lord, have control. Once there is a clear budget plan that "lives in the light" family members will all understand the common goal and even limitations. He (the husband/father) must understand that this is a trustworthy position and that he will have to account for the money that was not part of his pocket money or spending money. This will be a good system so that family members will all understand the goal, and the structures put into place.
My spouse and I have had separate bank accounts for years: 1. I travel 20 days a month 2. He is frugal 3. It keeps us from arguing HOWEVER, I recently asked my spouse if we combine banks, how to do so without conflict. After 25 years...I shocked my husband with that statement. #Godchangeslives
My husband and I married in our 60’s both having previous families. We decided that keeping our finances apart was acceptable for our situations. We are still one flesh and he’s still the head of our household. We help each other out financially if needed and we’re accountable for our spending, etc. But not to the extent that we are controlling each other. I know if this wasn’t ok with God both of us would feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit that resides within each of us.
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