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S. Michael Houdmann
Supporter
Sex before marriage has become so commonplace in our society, even to the point of being expected, that many professing Christians don't even consider it to be a sin. Our culture assumes that peopl...
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Jill McKay
Supporter
Not necessarily... One sin does not justify committing another. If a person that is a Christian sins by engaging in sex before marriage and a pregnancy results, the Christian needs to repent first and seek God's direction. If the other person is not a Christian, getting married to him would not be right. 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness. " I don't believe the presence of a child negates the above verse. If the man is a Christian, then by all means, marry him since you will both be training the child in God. Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. " Marriage to a non-Christian man will severely hamper this training. I was sadly in this very situation. I had been committed in a marriage to a supposed Christian man who kept cheating on me and eventually he filed for divorce. In my devastation instead of doing the right thing and turning to God for comfort. 2 Corinthians 1:3 I turned to a man for comfort and became pregnant. I repented of this sin. Acts 3:19 "Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out." I was ready to marry him because of the pregnancy, based on society's rule of marrying to make it right, but my real motivation was to cover my shame in society's eyes. But in God's eyes I was forgiven and needed to depend on Him to cover my sin, not marriage to a Godless man. Romans 8:1 "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." God spoke very forcefully to me and said, " No! You are not to marry this non- Christian man!" It was one of the clearest times God had spoken to me. 2 Corinthians 6:14 again. The New Living Translation says... "Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness". I did not marry him. I found out later that he had a hidden, nearly lifelong drug habit and many other sins that my children would have seen. I thank God that he protected my children and I from him. I am now married to a Christian man! If anyone finds themselves in this situation, please repent (1 John 1:9)first and seek God (James 1:5) for what he would have you do. Giving the child to a Christian home for adoption is a great option. I could not do that because the father did not want to give the child up and would have taken him. Clearly abortion would never be an option. Psalm 139:13 "for you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb." I could not put the child I was pregnant with or my other children in a home with this unGodly man. I could not give my baby up for adoption, so my only option was to be a single mother until God provided a Godly husband. This is not God's ideal, but neither is being unequally yoked. I made sure to stay in fellowship with other believers so my children could see examples of family's with fathers and mothers.
bobby pandaram
Supporter
Firstly the pregnancy was the result of a sinful act but GOD is forgiving and GOD would like a family to be complete. That is how HE designed it. Therefore the couple should decide on marriage as the most sensible thing to do.
Billy P Eldred
Supporter
First, I would like to say that getting married may be the correct answer. But there is much more to consider including the fact that getting married in no way absolves you from the sin that created the need for the question. (Please understand that I am in No way condemning you, we ALL have past sin) The only thing that will do that is repentance and asking God through Christ to forgive that sin. That being said (and nothing anyone could say is more important than that), you still have the question of what to do next. There is consequence to sin. If you are already a Christian, then the biggest consequence to sin (Salvation) has already been dealt with but not the only consequence. Probably the second most important is your relationship with God has been damaged and needs to be repaired. Repentance, prayer and commitment are needed. Once you have that Relationship repaired then you can ask God to lead you to the correct answer to your question. To aid you in listening for the right answer, here are a few things to consider: What is best for your child. What is best for you. What is best for your child's father., What is best for your relationship with God which affects all three of the above. I said at the start that getting married may be the correct answer. I believe it IS, if the father and you are willing to become one, under God, to raise the child. To me, love for each other, though important, is not even the most important issue. If you are willing to both submit and become one, I believe God will help you find love with each other, anyway. The most important is to love the child and foster the child's well being including the child's relationship to God. One other thing I would like to add. Getting married may not be the only answer. As I said, once you repair your relationship, God, I believe will reveal that to you as He did to Jill in another answer. My caution to you is that you do not add to the previous sin with an even greater sin. Some will say that all sin is the same, there are no greater sins. I disagree. The greater sin is unrepented sin and or future sin. One possible future sin would be to cause your child to sin (it would be better to tie a millstone around your neck and be tossed into the sea), by making it impossible for him (or her) to honor his parents (including love and respect). This applies to the Father as well so guard against the child's respect for the Father even if you do not get married.
Andrew Osakue
Supporter
I think there are biblical instances where they may have to marry as stated in Dt 22: 28-29 “If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days.
John Matthews
Supporter
To answer this specific question, the answer is NO. There is no requirement for marriage in scripture other than a commitment of a man and a woman to each other before and with God. Marriage is a civil act and not a spiritual one. It is a civil, legal condition. Romans 8:1 states that if you are one with the Lord, there is no condemnation. I would assume that mean any man or woman committed to each other. The concept of marriage as we know of it in the USA is definitely not biblical. No one in the Bible needed a religious person to make a marriage legal in the sight of God nor did they need the civil authorities. It was an arrangement between families; a contractual agreement; a betrothal then cohabitation. Nothing else is implied or required. To answer the question, if a couple is committed to each other in the sight of God, then no sin has been committed and no marriage (civil act) must take place. I cannot understand the answers given because they can only site passages in scripture that talk of commitment before God and required behavior once a commitment has been made. There are also mentioned penalties or requirements if a woman is taken outside of "marriage." i.e. Deut. 22:28-29 A couple is not living in sin or committing any kind of sin if they are committed to each other before God. No piece of paper (legal document) will change that commitment. And, most importantly, " whom God has joined, let no man put asunder." Matthew 19:6
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