S. Michael Houdmann Supporter Got Questions Ministries

The term "one flesh" comes from the Genesis account of the creation of Eve. Genesis 2:21-24 describes the process by which God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam's side as he slept. Adam recogn...

Login or Sign Up to view the rest of this answer.

July 01 2013 • 3 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Ezekiel Kimosop Supporter

What does it mean to be one flesh in marriage?

The Hebrew word "ba-sar" for flesh carries a number of synonyms in Hebrew thought. In its basic meaning it refers to human beings (Genesis 7:21). It can also refer to humanity in its nature apart from the divine. In the New Testament, the word "flesh" commonly refers to the sinful nature (Gal 5:17).

The context of Genesis 2:21-23 suggests that flesh refers human nature or essence. Adam refers to Eve as "flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones" to imply that she was in every essence as he was. 

When Scripture speaks of Adam and Eve being one flesh, it reveals that the two were united emotionally intimately and spiritually. The cleaving is a process that brings together two people who are essentially different in experience and background so that they can share the oneness of common thought and purpose in marriage.

In Adam and Eve's case, the two did not have a common "background" that earthly couples would share. Theirs was a perfect union based on their innocence and moral purity before God. 

There is so much to learn and unlearn in a marriage relationships so that we can fit into one another. Of course there will never be a perfect marriage except that of Christ and His church in which the bride (the church) will be spotless and the groom (Christ) is divine (Revelation 19:7-9).

Unlike "worldly" marriages the Christian marriage operates on compromises that each partner brings under the fear of the Lord. They should learn to tolerate one another and admonish one another in love. All things become common to them including their bodies so that they shall not unduly deny each other sexually or use sex as a weapon to settle scores or blackmail the other.


The wife should submit to the husband (1Peter 3:1-7).The submission of the wife is based on the authority of Scripture and her obedience to the Lord who gives her the spiritual grace to do it out of joy. The man is to love his wife (Eph. 5:28).

Their oneness also comes from their shared spiritual heritage. We are all God's children and one day we shall appear before Him and it may be required of us to account how we have used or abused this institution of privilege.


If there is oneness in our marriage, there will be unity of thought as concerns matters touching on our worldview. This does not suggest that we shall not hold opposing views on critical areas such as children, investments, financial management and even moderations. Whenever the two sit down to discuss common issues, they shall, by the grace of God, find common ground by which to agree to abide.

The man is to consider the wife not as an asset or an object of use but as a suitable companion whom God has provided. He will therefore cherish her with tendernesss. The couple should hold each other in utmost esteem.

The unity or oneness also implies that the relationship is to be exclusive to the two. Neither should contemplate satisfaction outside the marriage nor abandon the other even in moments of great distress.

Malachi 2:15 says "And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth." He hates divorce! (Malachi 2:16, KJV). 

In the New Testament Scripture, Paul emphasizes on the unity of the marriage relationship and equates it with the unity and love that Christ has for His Church. He teaches that the Christian husband should to love his wife even as Christ loved the church. Ephesians 5:29 says "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church" (KJV). 

Finally, the unity and oneness of the marriage must stand out even where the couple is not blessed with children. A marriage is complete with or without children.

August 08 2014 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report