What does it mean to train up a child in the way he should go?
Proverbs 22:6
ESV - 6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
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Asked July 01 2013
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Anonymous (via GotQuestions)
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S. Michael Houdmann
Supporter
Solomon's advice to parents is to "train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it" (Proverbs 22:6). Raising and training a child within the context of this prove...
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Ed Besselman
Supporter
This actually means that we are to raise our children "according to their individual bent". According to their personality. If a child is strong willed, they need different guidance and discipline than a child that is compliant. Also lions are different than otters, beavers and golden retrievers. Even with identical twins, there are different bents. Because when they are older, they still have the same personality traits as when younger. They do not depart from it... It is ingrained.
Grant Abbott
Supporter
In my view, training is more about what is “caught” than what is “taught”. Our children learn the way they should go by watching their parents and other adults whom they respect. They feel our attitudes, hear our words and watch our actions, as we live out our lives, and that’s the model they are likely to follow as they grow up. No loving parent will deliberately say to their child “Do as I say, not as I do!” but that is exactly what happens too often by the example we set. Our children are reading our lives 24/7 to determine how to conduct themselves and to discover what is really important in life. Let consider a couple of examples: We want our children to accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord and have a personal relationship with God. Therefore we want them to learn the teachings of the bible so they can live a God pleasing life. But our children would rather read “the living bible of their parents lives” to determine if the book is really something of importance to them. When we pay lip service to our faith, talk the religious talk without the walk, or do church out of duty or obligation, our children see through the façade and come to the conclusion that faith is not important. That’s why so many of them walk away when they become adults and start making all their own decisions. However, if our faith is alive, our children we see from the testimony of our lives that God is moving and working in us and that we are putting into practice what God is teaching us. Now faith will likely be important to them. What about Jesus teaching in Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” How will we teach this truth to our children? The proof of our personal beliefs will be visible in the way we conduct our lives. If they see parents who are absorbed in making money, so they can afford big fancy houses with lots of toys, so they can throw away material things when they are bored or tired of them, our children will learn to love money. Then who will they despise? In Deuteronomy 6:6-9 Moses used a form of language called hyperbole to show the importance of God’s commands. The children would likely have found this a very funny and engaging illustration. But Moses was really telling the parents “Your 24/7 lives – attitudes, words and actions - will either demonstrate God’s laws to your children or you will lead them astray, which will you choose?” The phrase “training our children in the way they SHOULD go” clearly affirms that our children need to make their own choices. The culture of our world today is so afraid of children being hurt by the presence of so much evil. As parents we want to protect our children, so we put them in a bubble or hover over them like a helicopter, to protect them from being hurt or making bad decisions. But in our zeal to protect them we cultivate a spirit of “entitlement” and later in life they can’t cope when things don’t go their way. Do we remember our parents saying that the most important lessons in life will come from the school of ”hard knocks”. The word SHOULD implies that we show our children how to get the information they need to make good decisions and then give them the freedom to make those decisions – good or bad. God never takes away our free will. Jesus showed us the way to make good decisions so that our lives would be pleasing to God. But we are still responsible to make those choices every day.
william anderson
Supporter
It is not only about Biblical training, but guiding your child into what he is good at. We are not frustrate them; for instance, if a child is bad at math don't push him into mathematics, but guide him into his God given talent always with Christ as the center of course. Whatever your hand finds to do do for the glory of God.
Scarlett Holtz
Supporter
Train your child up in the admonition of the Lord, lead him/her and guide her by Christ like example.
Billy P Eldred
Supporter
Good habits, like bad habits are hard to break. When children are still teachable we need to instill in them good habits. Respect for God and others. Willingness to work and finish task. Spend time in the word. ETC, ETC, ETC. These good habits will carry them all their lives. The lack of good habits will haunt them all of their lives. Which way shows your love for them more?
Paul Sureshkumar s
Supporter
Parent - Guys to become Men, Husbands and Fathers & Ladies to become Women, Wives and Mothers PRACTICE the following six keys to raising kids. It's not a formula, but rather elements I have seen working and we have personally used successfully. Parenting is an art of living in this world with your wards. 1. Have an affectionate and affirming relationship. 2. Be open communicators 3. Communicate clearly and specifically about sex 4. Be a good role model. 5. Stay tuned in to their world. 6. Pray for your children, family, yourself and society. Children are the mimic of their parents and parents should take the initial responsibility of their children behaviour. Where there's no model, there's a vacuum, and it will be filled. You have to be a role model for your children and you have to be a good one. The most powerful influences children will ever have are their parents. Please, don't choose to abrogate(do away with something) your responsibility by transferring it to the school, church, or sports coach,ie.society. It's not their responsibility; it's yours. For most of the children, parents are mimic and girls portrait their fathers as Heroes and boys portrait their mothers as their heroines. "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven", it means, what you want from your children, you do it to others in your family and society. Read more: http://paulshumanmanagement-in.webnode.in/news/good-parenting/
ainsley chalmers
Supporter
It is good to teach our children love and respect for the Lord Jesus. However many youth are falling away from their Christian roots because when they get to high school they are indoctrinated in evolutionary thinking that, basically, nature created itself through mutation and natural selection (or a big bang) and therefore we do not need a belief in God. In other words secular values are taught as fact and are in contradiction to the word of God. Churches therefore need to prepare our young by comparing, either at home or bible classes, evolution vs God's plan for creation as described in the bible. The fallacy of evolution will then become self evident to our youth. Unfortunately many churches do not touch on this subject in Bible classes. In fact many Christian churches believe in evolution as God's way or plan for creation. The natural follow on from this is: there was no Adam or Eve, therefore no original sin and any need for a Savior. In short one cannot compromise the truth in the Bible, God's word, otherwise our youth will become confused and wonder what is the truth and ask the question "Do we believe in what the bible says or our teachers/"? Without a good grounding in bible based creationism the secular teachers generally win out. We need to love God with our whole soul but also with all our mind. We need to give answers to the majority who believe that nature created itself and one therefore doesn't need to postulate a God-directed creation. A short DVD by creation ministries international (creation.com) entitled "Fallout" confirms my answer on this important subject.
Jim Tumlinson
Supporter
My wife and I had been in children's ministry for over 25 years. We started in children's church leading classes to doing huge programs every Sunday to missionaries to Honduras in a children's home, and we continued to ask ourselves what it means to "Train up a child in the way they should go." We started where we thought we should, and that was to know your bible love God and do what He says in His word etc. Then, as we gained more experience in children's ministry, we thought that we should help discover their giftings and train them in that. So that is what we did; When we held children's services we put the kids to work in various areas. We held services just like adult services, we had praise and worship. The message was given with puppets, skits and games but we also had media to help with this undertaking. Here are some examples of what we did; for praise and worship we used the children that either liked to sing or had that talent. We let them sing with microphones, but we had the cd playing and the words on a screen. We had other children run the soundboard and do the powerpoint and other media. These things actually trained them to be productive volunteers in the main service as they had grown older. One young lady, when we first encountered her, would not come out from behind the pool table, My wife and I encouraged her to come out and just sit in class and watch. She had some personal problems but we just kept encouraging her and soon she was running all our media and the soundboard. Then she became one of the persons helping do the media in the main service. She had changed completely and has grown to be a great young woman. That's just one of many testimonies. One day as I was driving and thinking about all the kids we "Trained up." Some of them had gender changes, drugs, children before marriage etc and seemed to have left the faith. Then, I felt like God spoke to me about how to train up a child. Training up a child in the way they should go became clear to me one day as God revealed to me the most important and basic thing we can do as teachers and parents alike to train a child in the way they should go. It's as simple as this, Romans 13:8-10 "Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, "You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet," and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore a love is the fulfilling of the law." Mark 12:28-34 "And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, "Which commandment is the most important of all?" Jesus answered, "The most important is, 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, w the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." And the scribe said to him, "You are right, Teacher. You have truly said that he is one, and a there is no other besides him. And to love him with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices." And when Jesus saw that he answered wisely, he said to him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God."" Jesus gave us the answer of how to train a child in the way they should go because if fulfills the law and brings them closer to the kingdom of God. In spite of all the things people go through in life, if we teach them to love God and love others, we not only taught them the royal commandments we taught them something they will never depart from.
Jack Gutknecht
Supporter
Great question! I think it means to lay a solid biblical foundation for your kids when they are definitely in the formative stage. I.e. taking them to church and staying there with them, reading the Bible together with them (at first reading it to them and then letting them read it to you.) And of course, praying with them would be included. Teaching them to witness is another good plan. Share Christ with your kids' friends so your kids can watch. Have them share their testimonies with their friends while you listen, parent.
Awuah Kofi Barfour
Supporter
I personally think the answer is in the next verse, the rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender. If we teach children this, they won't depart from that way.
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