How can I find the way to accept God as a loving father when I was raped and abused as a child?
I want to understand why God didn't stop it. I have a lot of anger. I do not want to serve someone who stood by while I was sexually assaulted as a child.
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Asked December 23 2017
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Anonymous
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mary reetz
Supporter
That breaks my heart for you! The short answer is that God was repulsed by the evil and abhorrent act that was forced on you. His wrath will fall on any person who harms children emotionally, physically, and sexually. He is there waiting for you to choose him over the sin and darkness of this world. He is the one who will truly love you and heal you.
Serge Botans
Supporter
I think there are 3 things that I would like to share with you: 1. expectations: you expected God to stop you being raped. God, for whatever reasons, does not always honour our expectations of Him. God is a free agent, and by that I mean that God makes His own decisions irrespective of what we want or expect of Him. It also means that God has a plan for the World and for us individually. There is a lot of evil going on in the World, and God does not stop it. Look at ISIS and the horrible things they are doing. Look at the Nazis during WWII and the horrible things they did. And God did not stop any of them. It does not mean He doesn't love us. It just means that it is not always part of His plan to intervene and protect the innocent. Perhaps you should ask God why He allowed it to happen to you. And ask Him what plan He has for you in view of what happened. May be God wants to use your horrible experience to help others who have gone through the same thing. 2. God has given us free will, and He 'respects' our free will. This means that the person who raped you did so of his own free will. And as such, God respected that. Unfair as it seems to us. Again, look at all the evil things going on in the World done by human beings. God 'respects' the free will of those people doing these evil things and does not intervene. Consider the people who make drugs and who sell drugs, consider the people who murder and rape others. Consider mothers and fathers who are emotionally and abusive towards their children. And so on... 3. The only way you will accept God as a loving Father is through forgiveness. This means forgiving the person who raped you. Unspeakable as it is, you must find a way in your heart to forgive that person. If you can't, then ask God to forgive that person on your behalf. And of course, you must mean it. There is no other way forward for you. You must also ask God to forgive you for the anger you have towards the person who raped you, and for the anger you have towards God. And you must ask God to take that anger away from you. Again, you must mean it. And finally, you must ask God to forgive you for expecting him to protect you from the rape, as it is an expectation you have of Him, an expectation you placed on Him. If you place an expectation on someone, then that someone is no longer free to be himself or herself. It is the same with God. I am terribly sorry for what has happened to you and I know that it is unfair, but forgiveness is the only way you will find freedom, release and peace from what has happened to you. In case you are wondering, I have been emotionally and physically abused by my dad and step mum growing up. I know that forgiveness is the only answer for you. I hope you can find it your heart to do so. If you can't right now, then ask God to take you to the point where you will be able to do so. And then you will be free. You will know a freedom you have not known for a long time. I wish you well.
Kathy Akers
Supporter
Hi, I know exactly what you mean, as a child I was molested and raped by a lot of family members and friends of the family. I had a lot of anger about my childhood but one day, I realized that the anger I have is holding me back in life. When I became a Christian, one of the things I prayed about was to help me to get rid of the anger, and every thing that happened to me as a child, I can turn it around to help others. The anger that I once had was starting to ease, but it wasn't an overnight relief, I prayed earnestly every day, and even today, not to allow myself hang on to the past. I have to pray all the time for this, because at times Satan tempts me by having old anger to build up, have memories of the rapes, but please keep praying because God will help you take the anger away. Tell yourself, "Okay, that was then, now I have to forgive those who harmed me in any way, because God forgave me. How can I not forgive them?" It's not an easy task, but reading God's Word, praying everyday, I pray throughout the day sometimes I talk to God more than anyone because I know that my past made me the person I am, I love people, have compassion, sympathy, and I am thankful for another beautiful day without having the anger, I once had. But always try to be aware that Satan and his cohorts know our weaknesses, and will try to use this against us, when he does, say " I want nothing to do with you, I am going to serve the Lord whether you like it or not, get behind me Satan, in Jesus's name I pray, Amen". He will back off but only for a short period of time, hang on to God's true Word and His promises, He is right beside you each and every step of the way. I pray this will help you that God is the only Way. When someone isn't a Christian, there's no purpose to life, they live, they're miserable every day, and next..HELL. God bless.
Billye Miles Seale
Supporter
You have asked a very hard question related to one many people have asked about God. “How can a good God allow bad things to happen to innocent people?” The fact is that we live in a broken world and in that brokenness, evil exists. God wants to heal you from the abuse you suffered. Seek Him with all your heart, soul, and strength by reading and meditating on His Word, the Bible. Ask God to reveal Himself to you and to heal your heart, soul, and spirit. Join a local church, attend Celebrate Recovery, seek godly counseling from a trained Christian mental health professional who has experience helping people with childhood sexual trauma. You will find that you are not the first, only, or last one to experience atrocity, but God has healed and will heal those who seek Him. Genesis 50:20 (NIV) says, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” In Paul’s letter to the Corinthians we see the model of receiving and giving comfort to others through the comfort we have through Christ Jesus. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV) “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” Using the search phrase “God never wastes a hurt” search for resources that may point you to find help for healing. There is no fast or easy cure for what you have suffered, but there is hope and healing to be had from God through faith in Jesus Christ. As you seek God, I pray this blessing for you: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. ” (Numbers 6:24-26 NIV)
Jack Croach
Supporter
First of all I am so sorry you have had to endure and go through life with this. We can’t change how we feel and deal with past hurts that have caused us such pain, that has put us in despair. Gods love for us is the one and only thing that can change our lives, and how we can go living. God will not hurt or let you down. We must receive Him as our Lord and Savior, let Him into the dark places in our lives and know without a shadow of a doubt He got you and your past in His hands. Stop listening to the lies of satan he is a cheat and tries to keep you bound to our past. Blessings, Pastor Jack Today is a new day your past can be put behind you this day, it will take you to make the first step, just let Jesus in and ask in to take control. His love is the best love you will ever experience.
Belinda Cobb
Supporter
Matthew 11:28 "Come unto to me, all ye that labour and are heavy ladden, and I will give you rest" All Christians go through things. Some seem worse than others. Give your pain and anger to him and he will give you the rest you need to move forward in him. Trust me when I say that I would rather go through what ever life throws my way with him then without him.
ainsley chalmers
Supporter
It is horrible what you had to endure as a child and my heart really goes out to you. I didn't know how to respond but God dropped these thoughts into my heart and i want to share them with you. 1. Your parents/ guardians should have been there to protect you as that is a major part of their God given responsibility. 2. This perpetrator needs to be reported for breaking the law, do their time behind bars and thereby prevent further abuses to other young children. 3. Ask God to help you forgive this pedophile. This is an almost impossible and seemingly unfair request. With forgiveness however will flow the God-mediated healing you need so much for your spirit. Forgiveness helps this healing process. I have been hurt by others in the past and God asked me to pray for their salvation. A tough ask. Initially my prayers were through gritted teeth but became easier as God's healing flowed. God really loves you and has proven His love many times over through stories in the Bible and the beauty of His creation. Unfortunately we live in a fallen world resulting in bad things happening to good people like yourself. God's plan for your life to to give you abundant life (John 10:10). I hope this helps, God Bless and heal you.
Lena Crandell
Supporter
As a child abuse survivor, I can relate to your grief and feelings of abandonment by an all-powerful, all-seeing God. My questions were, "If You truly loved me God, why did you allow such horrific events to take place in my life?" I was bitter. I screamed at God for years. In my heart, my mind and through my actions. God understands this grief. God has mercy and compassion that supersedes any known to mankind. Yes, freewill plays a role in the evils perpetrated by mankind, but furthermore, our fruit reveals our hearts. "The unfruitful works of darkness" unrepented of, will be judged. Concerning forgiveness: Jesus said if we have hate in our hearts, we're guilty of murder. Lusting after another is adultery. The standard of holiness of God is so extremely high, we all fall short of the glory of God. Yet, through faith in His finished work on Calvary, He credits to us His righteousness. None of us are deserving of God's mercy and His gift of salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord, but He offers it freely. All sin separates us from God. You endured such darkness as a child, but those who did this, if they never repent, will JUSTLY face an eternity in utter darkness and eternal separation from hope and life in the powerful presence of the Almighty. Let God heal you. Walk in freedom! Let The Righteous Judge deal with the wicked. Ps: Forgiveness does not mean you must have a relationship with your perpetrators. Blessings to you. You're in my prayers.
Ben Uchytil
Supporter
Dear Child of God, As your brother, someone also sexually abused as a child, I know your pain. I will not ply you with platitudes or tell you what to do. None of us know why God did not save you - or me either, for that matter. What I can definitively tell you is this: God loves you wholeheartedly, without reservation. How could He not? We know he loves even the worst of sinners. So how could he not love you, especially when you were an innocent child? An old story. I cannot remember where I read it. A little girl, on a train trip with her father, asked him a question about sexual intimacy, something she overheard, a question her father could not answer because the answer was not age-appropriate. So instead he asked her, "Will you please pick up my suitcase and carry it?" The little girl got up, tried to pick up the suitcase, and then replied, "I am too little. The suitcase is too big and heavy for me." Her father then said, "Yes, it is too big and heavy for you, because you are a little girl. Someday, you will be old enough, big enough to carry it, but not today. I will carry the suitcase for you now, just as I will carry your question/answer for you, too, until you are old enough to carry it for yourself." Dear Child of God, I ask you: Please allow God to carry your burden, a burden too heavy for you to bear. Allow yourself to rest and trust in God, your loving Father, who understands all and will care for your needs. He can be trusted to carry your burden. With love and humility, I am your brother, Ben
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