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First allow me to offer comfort for your personal loss. I do not know the circumstances of their passing, but I know it's always painful to lose someone you love. Congratulations on finding someone to share your personal pain and sorrow with. I'm sure you've been a huge blessing in their life as well. Sharing a common burden can draw us closer together. What would make your previous martial status, or the loss through death, make you exempt from fornication laws? I believe that when you can answer that question, you will have your answer. Yes, you are free to marry again. God bless you if you do. But don't be deceived by the enemy. Your body is still the temple of God. Be Blessed Lena
Having sex without being married is considered fornication, that is a sin. We are to be married so when the desire becomes overwhelming, our spouse is available to fulfill that desire. Most likely the Holy Spirit is convicting you and this is why the question has been on your mind. There is no way around it but to be married if sex is supposed to happen. We must be careful not to fall into the notion that having sex out of marriage is an ok thing to do as this thinking gives the devil a foothold.
After almost 37 years of marriage, I was widowed in 2022. My late husband was a pastor, and we counseled countless couples through the years regarding all kinds of issues that were negatively affecting their marriages. One of the most common themes when couples were having trouble stemmed from guilt regarding their courtship days; specifically, for not exercising self-control with their passions prior to marriage. Often the wife felt betrayed, used, and devalued by her husband because he pressed her to have sex before they were married. This usually led to intimacy issues once they were married. Our counsel to dating couples looking to get married was always the same, regardless of their prior marital status and past sexual activity: 1 Thes. 4: 3-8: "For this is the will of God, your sanctification:[b] that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body[c] in holiness and honor, 5 not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. 7 For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. 8 Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you." I met my wonderful second husband in 2023, a godly and upright man. I was 59 and he was 62, and we had both been married previously for several decades. We knew we needed to honor God with our bodies, and that we couldn't make any excuses, in spite of the fact that we were no longer virgins and had been married before. All I can say is that we are so glad we honored God. He has richly blessed us, and we are free from any and all sexual baggage we could have heaped upon ourselves by sinning against God and each other while we were dating. We have children and grandchildren to whom we have always preached about sexual purity, and we would have been such hypocrites had we given in to lust. And for me, I wanted to honor the work that my first husband and I did for so many years as we relied unwaveringly on the Bible as we counseled others. Bottom line: There are no exceptions when it comes to honoring God with your body, no matter your age or circumstances. His word applies to us all, and He blesses us when we obey.
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