Do narcissistic people change their ways if they accept Jesus Christ as their Savior?
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Asked October 23 2013
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Donna Wackerle
Supporter
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John-Luke Muresan
Supporter
Okay, so the answer is eventually, however, I believe in Mere Christianity CS Lewis addresses this question amazingly. We know that the Holy Spirit works in us and changes us in a fantastic way and there are certain standards of behavior (Colossians 3:1-17; Ephesians 5:7-21; 1 Peter 4:1-4; Galatians 5:22-23) but do not forget that we all have thorns in the flesh (2 Corinthians 12:7), Paul's besetting sin was pride and the LORD provided him a means to overcome it, but it was not easy. You see, everyone starts somewhere, some people simply do not have a temper whether they are a Christian or not. Some people are not narcissistic regardless of Christ, some non-Christians live a life of chastity and will marry one person and will not divorce, but many Christians do the opposite. Does this mean that they were not Christians or that they are poor Christians? We cannot make such a judgement, for we do not know where they came from before Christ got to them. So that narcissistic person you know, be charitable, give them the benefit of the doubt. Instead, ask yourself, "How much worse would they have been had they not found Christ?" We ought not to be bigots assuming that if you are Christian then you possess all the fruits of the Spirit equally. Look at the body of Christ, some are kinder than others, some are more encouraging. Should we all be encouraging? Yes! But some are just gifted and we all strive against the flesh, so let's work together to overcome these vices (1 Corinthians 12:11-31). So in summary, yes, in time, but be aware that we might not live to see that time, God bless.
Refik Ozbay
Supporter
No one, not even the person who professes Jesus Christ as their Savior and "Lord" will have the power in and of themselves to change anything. A saved person who submits unto the Lordship of Christ is immediately sanctified upon conversion and will continue to be sanctified by the Holy Spirit. Sanctification, in that sense, is both immediate and progressive. So is change. We will not be completely sanctified (changed unto holiness) while we remain as pilgrims in this wilderness we call earth. We will trust in the completed work Jesus accomplished on the cross and we will trust in His Spirit to change us from within day by day and work our salvation with fear and trembling by obeying His Spirit. :)
Glenn Harrell
Supporter
In other words, "Will any of us?" I have yet to meet someone who is not narcissistic. (talk about a word that sounds like what it is!) It becomes a matter of degree upon conversion. It is much like a virus present in our body that will never completely go away. Like greed or pride, it must be contained and controlled. This is where God's power, the Holy Spirit's motivation, Jesus prayer and encouragement, and our diligent work all collide and produce the spiritual quality of humility along with concern for others. (Philippians 2:1-11) The desire to be Christlike is the new powerhouse inside of the believer and it will eventually contain and shame our sin and selfishness for what it is. Lord, make me like you I pray. Help others who may know me to be patient and encouraging with me as you re-create me in your image.
Mark Labriola
Supporter
Narcissism is a psychological illness that moves a person to act in many ways which are contrary to the fruit of the spirit. It is a carnal or a fleshly issue. I've known narcissists that are saved, yet their behavior is ruled by their narcissism rather than the Holy Spirit. I believe the Holy Spirit is powerful enough to change a narcissist's mind and behavior as He is able to change a thief's, adulterer's, fornicator's liar's or any ungodly behavior described in the new testament - but it may not happen in a timeframe that makes having a relationship with that person possible. Remember, in Romans 12:2 Paul's admonition to not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind was spoken to Christians in his day that struggled with their carnal behavior. Paul's answer for me which has allowed me to have a relationship with narcissists is found in Romans 12:18. It allows me to create the boundaries I need in faith to still love them, but at a distance so that my peace and joy in the Lord remains in tact. Remember Christ said in Matthew 4:10 "Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve".....and I agree, Him only and NOT the narcissist!
Cherie Mitchell
Supporter
I made a comment in response to Mark's answer. So, I will try to avoid too much repetition here. Narcissism is basically a personality disorder, an illness and fracture to the personality. While I believe narcissistic people can be saved, if they don't submit to the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit in changing them, then they tend to stay unchanged in behavior. I have known many narcissistic people over my lifetime. One person I have known for over 20 years now. While I have distanced myself, I find that the influence he has had infects those around him, too. Narcissists typically don't see that they need to be changed because they have no faults. They are "normal" and everyone else is to blame for anything that goes wrong in their lives. They can see themselves as having special knowledge that no one else has. For example, the one I knew for a long time thought that only he could hear the true message from God and only he had the right teaching and understanding from the Scriptures. Everyone else's knowledge and understanding was inferior and considered flawed. The narcissist changed from church to church to church because the leadership did not recognize his "special gifts" or "powers." No one else knew how to do anything better than he did: cook, clean, shop, cut hair, direct plays and movies, train leaders, sell merchandise, diagnose health problems, treat health issues (e.g., the narcissist knew how to administer first aid correctly), cast out demons, etc. The list can be very looong! A narcissist may tell you he/ she makes the best person in any (and usually, all) occupation. If the prophets, apostles, teachers, and preachers didn't really understand God, who can? I have heard narcissists say that. However, the narcissist usually says he can understand God and knows Him better than most. Most narcissists, over time, have the potential to become cult leaders, even among family members or friends. So, where does that leave the Holy Spirit? Where does it leave Jesus? Hmmmm. Over time, unchanged, the narcissist can grow to equate himself with God. The Holy Spirit can change a humble, willing person. He cannot change someone who doesn't want to change. He is limited in changing an un-submissive person. In closing, Jesus encountered many unwilling people. Matthew 13:58 Mark 6:5-6 He asked the ill person if he wanted to be made whole. He asked the person's permission first. John 5:6 I don't think the narcissist views himself as needing to be healed from narcissism. So, can he be made whole?
Tito Dulay Lim
Supporter
Accepting Jesus is denying oneself. It is more a matter of faith and obedience to the footsteps of Christ driven by the power of the Holy Spirit than by a mere lip service. There is no impossibility of change if your focus is no longer in yourself. If you are used to loving yourself when Jesus was not yet with you, you must turn your love to Jesus. In time you decide to accept Him as your Lord and Savior. At this time, you are no longer a self-lover but a lover of Jesus instead. Hence, a momentous change! It is certainly difficult in this carnal/lustful world for such a change to take place in an instant, but it is not impossible. By doing a diligent job in your journey for the best you will surely attain it at the end. However, you will surely experience some discouragement along the way. Strengthen your faith and do your job, Jesus will do the rest. Amen.
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