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If my pregnant wife is diagnosed with a defective baby, what should we do?
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Asked December 09 2013
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Anonymous
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Selah Velwyn
Supporter
This unborn child, regardless of the condition of his body, has the same soul that he would have if he where born completely healthy. Let me ask you this. If this child were born completely healthy in every way and then one day was in a life altering situation whether accident or illness, would you want him or love him any less after that? Have your child, give him all the love you have to give him and leave the rest to God.
maria baez
Supporter
My opinion is that you should still have the baby. Not all diagnosis are correct. I know this from an experience that happened in my family a couple of years ago. My mother had three girls and always wanted to have a baby boy. My mother got pregnant and found out she was having a boy. You could imagine that she was overtaken by joy. Months later when she went in for a doctors appointment, she took a test to see if the baby would come out with defects. The results came out positive and the doctors diagnosed my brother with Down syndrome. The doctors told my mother that it would be best if she had an abortion. My mother, being the Christian woman that she is, did not listen to what the doctors said, instead she prayed. She had been praying before for a boy and new that God had everything under control. On the day of my brother’s birth he was born with no defects. God had done a miracle and proved the doctors wrong.Today my brother is nine years old and in perfect condition, all thanks to God. If my mother would have listened to the doctors she would have made a big mistake and my brother would not be here today. I know this is a difficult situation, but if you put your faith in God everything will turn out as God planned it to be. God can still do miracles.
Seth Freeman
Supporter
The answer is quite simple. It's not your baby, it's the Lord's child and He has allowed you to parent him/her. From the moment of conception that child was just as much a person as you and your wife are now. What should you do? You should love that child, treasure that child, protect that child, and raise that child, pointing them towards Christ to the best of your abilities.
Mi Shad Ow
Supporter
Well first things first congratulations, and praise God. My suggestions are as followers. (1) do a study on eugenics and its views on people with "disabilities". (2) study what God has to say about children. (3) and most important study 1 Co 1:27 & 28. I as a person who, as you put it was born "defective". I was given by God a tool "spiritual gift". And a defect they both match perfectly as only God could. My "defective" body is a drawing card to the world, so that I can use my gift to bring others in to the fold. Sin has made us ALL "defective" in one way or another. Do not let pride ruin what could be the greatest joy you will ever know this side of heaven. Will you, your wife, your child have challenges. Yes! But with God all things are possible. Will your child wish he/she was "normal". Yes! But God will explain his/her purpose here. And in time he/she will have the same out look as me. I would not have it any other way. This life is only temporal, then we will all be made perfect.
Dorcas Sitali
Supporter
Nothing is impossible with God. The bible in mathew 7:7 says that when you ask and it will be given to you in the presiding verse we are asked that if we human being evil know how to give good gifts how much more our Heavenly Father, if we ask for bread He won't give us a stone. So my brother do not fear ask what you want and desire for it will be granted you in Jesus Name for its is the Father's pleasure to give you the kingdom. Nothing is impossible with God. Will pray for you.
Brandon Hughes
Supporter
I do not understand what a "defective" baby is. We are speaking of a human life, not a television with a fuzzy picture or a cordless drill with a broken battery pack. Our culture has become consumers of human life; don't like the color or the features on this particular model? Our culture tells us it is no problem, just get rid of it and swap it out. Children are a gift, they are not ours but the Lord's as mentioned above. We as Christians cannot take a consumeristic view of human life like our culture. And abortion, however viewed no matter the case is the unjust ending of a human life, the bible calls this murder. Having said that, this is a sin for which Christ died. For those who have committed the sin of murder through abortion, this deed does not exclude you from eternal life in heaven, Christ forgives you.
Kalasini Nibin
Supporter
I would say Have Faith in the Lord! He knows everything and He lets pass few things for a Reason! Just Have Faith and Trust in Him. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5-6 God Bless You!
Vincent Mercado
Supporter
The Catholic Church teaches that abortion is a grave immoral act. For a doctor to suggest abortion is contrary to their mission - to save lives. Mother Teresa said, "If a mother can kill her own child, then anyone can kill anybody." Jesus talks about physical defects (e.g. blindness, autism, missing limbs) "so that the works of God might be displayed in him". (John 9:3) We do not know what plans God has for these children. We should not get ahead of God. For a mother to consider abortion is unloving, selfish, and devoid of any humanity.
David Sutton
Supporter
Pray, then pray, then pray some more but be a child of God first so he will hear those prayers. He may not answer the way you think he should. But his way is best. Abortion is not the answer.
Shanna Duck
Supporter
I don't want to minimize the challenges that certain disabilities can cause. In some cases, parents have children who will never know them, who will never return their smiles, and never call them "Mom" or "Dad." There are children who will need 24/7 care and extensive resources, and who may need a plan for life even after their parents' deaths.. Parents with children such as this show the self-sacrificial love of God himself, who even loves those who never return His love. The thought of possibly caring for a child like this may be overwhelming, though. This is where our Christian friends and family and God Himself will need to support us. Even if you were to have a severely disabled child, you would not (and should not) try to do it "all" yourself. If the burden IS great, then allow God to send others to help you and encourage you. That is what the church is REALLY about. In many cases, though, the child may have less severe problems (or, by the Grace of God, even none at all!) Doctors can be, and often are, wrong! And even with "challenges," the child can have a productive life. My husband's grandparents were both deaf, but they raised a family. We know people with many other problems and illnesses ranging from autism and learning disabilities to MS and blindness. Yes, these physical issues cause challenges, but most people overcome them. We as humans think that the only "worthwhile" life is according to our ideas, but God proves us wrong again and again. Sometimes our weaknesses are just a chance for God to display His strength. Your doctor may be worried that the little one may not live anyway, but we still do not think that abortion is the answer. If God chooses to take your Baby to Himself during the pregnancy or soon after birth, you can give your little one the dignity of Christian burial and you will know that you have a child in Heaven waiting for you. There may be natural grief if the baby naturally passes away early, but you can look forward to meeting the child in Heaven one day! If you choose abortion, you might always wonder what the child would have been like if he had lived and you may shrink from the idea of seeing him again one day. Sometimes what seems like the easy way out leads to years of suffering and heartache. Doing what is right is not always easy, but when we choose God's way He strengthens us and we have an easy conscience. Choosing murder only will create grief, uncertainty, and guilt. I know that everyone reading this will pray for you and your family, that you will make the right choice and that God will temper this blow and support you so that you can bear whatever He sends to your family.
gale bobenhausen
Supporter
When I was 5 months pregnant with our first child we found out he had a condition known as Trisomy 13 (Down's syndrome is trisomy 21) which was considered "incompatible with life". One of my doctor's first comments was that it was too bad I was past the time of having a legal abortion. This was the beginning of my education that many people and most doctors believe those who are different are not worthy of our time and love. We were told our son would not survive birth and if he did he had a 90% likelihood of dying in the first three months. After much grief and prayer my husband and I decided we would trust God and love and care for our son to the best of our abilities as long as we had him with us. When Garrett was born he had an APGAR score of 9 and didn't need oxygen or any other "artificial" support. Ultimately he had numerous problems: he was deaf, blind, could not eat by mouth, could not sit or hold his head up, was profoundly mentally retarded and had 19 surgeries/procedures. However, through all his problems it was very obvious he knew he was loved and responded to us with a smile or by grasping our hand. He knew who we were and that we loved and cherished him. He loved the water and sunshine and would have lived in our pool if he could. I also believe God was with him (and us) continuously. There were several times when something medical happened to Garrett that should have been excruciatingly painful and yet he smiled throughout. He certainly could feel and react to pain so it wasn't anything physical. Clearly God was with him and protected him from the pain. Garrett taught us and a multitude of others about our wrong perception of "defects" and the true blessings those "defects" can bring. Garrett (with Mom's help) taught 20+ doctors about the error of their thinking that "defective" children aren't worthy of loving and saving. Having been blessed 2 years later with a healthy son, whenever a doctor would suggest or imply that something should or should not be done for Garrett, I would always ask them if their opinion would be the same if it was my healthy child in the same situation. After they stammered their response I would ask why Garrett should be treated any differently. Of course, no legitimate response could be made. Garrett taught us that doctors often do not know what they are talking about, especially as the "3 months" prediction proved wrong for 9 years. Garrett taught us the true blessing of thankfulness for everything God has given us, large and small. If we can eat our food through our mouths we are blessed. If we can see we are blessed. If we can sit, stand, walk, talk and control our bodies with our brains we are blessed. Most of all if we believe we are all made in God's image we realize no one is "defective" and all are worthy of our best love and care. Was it difficult to care for Garrett for 9 years? You betcha. If not for God, I can assure you we could not have done it under our own power. As the one doctor who accepted Garrett as he was and found him worthy once said we ran a Level 3 hospital in our home for many years. Garrett required 24/7 care and long term sleep deprivation took its toll. However, neither myself nor my husband would change a minute of it. So, should you have an abortion? Oh, please don't. You will miss the joy of having your child, whatever the child's circumstances may be. I can assure you that you will not love him/her any less and will ultimately recognize the blessing God has bestowed upon you by entrusting you with one of his special children. Trust God and as always He will not abandon you or your child.
Bernita Rainey
Supporter
Have the baby and leave everything in to the hands of god who is the author and finisher of your faith
Doreen Pennells
Supporter
Our first grandchild was diagnosed in the womb as "not able to support life". My daughter-in-law carried the baby almost full term (against doctor's wishes). The Lord took the baby home at birth. Sue & Jim (the parents) were asked to sing at a baby dedication for friends two weeks later - they did. God blessed them later with two healthy babies. Our little one when straight to God's Paradise. How wonderful.
Leah Mwaura
Supporter
Keep the child, he/she is a blessing from God. Many are not able to carry children in their wombs like you do. So pray to God and thank Him for what He has given you, then love that child.
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