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Todd Richardson
Supporter
Adultery is a sin. In fact, Jesus took that a step further and told us that even thoughts of lust are equivalent to adultery and are also sin. However, the consequences of our sinful actions are not always necessarily bad. I think that God understands that we are all fallen creatures with a bent for sinful actions. That is NOT to say that He approves of our sin. Rather, He is more than able to take our frequent blunders, and work out His will, in spite of our sinful actions. Let us also remember that all life comes from God. THAT is where the blessing comes from. Consider the genealogy of Jesus Christ Himself, Matthew 1:5 lists Rahab, who was a harlot, yet her contributions led to the birth of the Savior of the world. Make no mistake, God can take our mess and create a blessing. Is a pregnancy out of wedlock a part of God's plan? I would say "no". But can God turn a sin into a blessing? I would say "absolutely". For whatever reason, we humans want to categorize sin into levels of severity. We are ALL sinners, saved by grace. Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future in Christ Jesus. Will the single-mother have her share of heartaches and struggles as a result of her decision? More than likely. But the fruit of her womb is a blessing from God.
Shanna Duck
Supporter
Let’s look at the first part of the question: Adultery is sexual relations in which one or both of the parties is/are married to someone else. A child could result from adultery or from fornication, which is sexual activity between unmarried persons. (There are some that would argue that this is not the Biblical definition of fornication, but this is the general definition in common use.) The point of this is that any sexual activity outside of a husband-wife relationship is considered immoral in the Bible. …no matter what the “Real Housewives of here or there” or the cast of “Sex in the City” want you to believe. Now let’s go on to the second statement. Sometimes people casually throw around statements that are emotional, well-meaning, and meant to be merciful and encouraging rather than logical or theological. Children ARE a blessing from God; we know this from the Bible. They are a way for the human race to continue in spite of the law of sin that leads to death. There is also always the chance for ANY child, no matter his/her parentage or his/her parents’ sins, to be among those saved by the amazing grace of God and the sacrificial death of His Son, Jesus Christ. God can also work through a helpless infant to cause a parent to repent (consider David and Bathsheba's first child) and change his/her life-course. A child resulting from an unmarried relationship can grow up to be a comfort and support to his or her grandparents or mother in their old age, or to be an inventor or scientist an bring about common good in the world. In these ways, EVERY child can potentially be a blessing. EVERY child can say (to paraphrase Joseph): "Mom/Dad, what you did years ago may have been wrong, but God has used it for good!" Yet for a a child to be born outside of wedlock is not the perfect will of God. God’s plan, even for fallen mankind, was for every child to have a loving, responsible, mother and father united in a committed marriage relationship. While a child does not “pay for his parents’ sins,” in one sense, children DO often suffer because of mistakes their parents make, whether from drug abuse, alcoholism, ignorance, financial irresponsibility, sexual illness contracted at birth, or social stigma. We know even from secular statistics that the loving two-parent family USUALLY provides more stable social, emotional, and financial security for the child, as well as providing role models of both sexes. (Of course, in our fallen world, sometimes the loving two-parent family doesn’t exist or is broken for reasons other than sexual misconduct. There are horrific marriages where there is constant abuse and neglect, and sometimes these leave lasting scars and a bias against marriage. Death breaks apart families; parents sometimes go to be with the Lord early in a child’s life leaving a single-parent to struggle on alone, or one spouse may desert the family. Sometimes a child may have to be placed in another home due to a parent’s addiction or even illness.) Our challenge as Christians has always been to uphold godly morality and the type of lifestyle that God Himself approves WHILE offering hope and forgiveness to those who make or made mistakes (because we ourselves are sinners saved and enlightened only through the grace of God.) This is a tight-rope to walk. We often end up either being too unforgiving and hypocrical- as people often were in the 19th and early 20th centuries, effectively barring an unwed mother from polite society while encouraging young men to “sow wild oats”- OR we’re too easy-going, as perhaps we are now, where fornication and single-motherhood are almost taken for granted in some cultural settings and sometimes even glorified on TV.
Gregory Tomlinson
Supporter
The above answers cover this quite well. I however do not see the connection with the two statements. Raising a child as a single parent has its difficulties, but children are a blessing to people with tender hearts. There are many reasons a parent may find themselves alone and adultery is probably the leading cause of separation and divorce. I will say "if adultery is sin" how can it be otherwise. Marriage is a solemn promise of faithfulness and monogamy. Have you ever had a promise broken, this vow involves intimate trust and violations and leaves one with the feeling of having been betrayed. It hurts psychologically and leaves lasting scars. Socially: this situation usually becomes a burden for communities to support and what could have been a great joy becomes a much more difficult task. The leading cause of single parent situation is sexual permissiveness the free love revolution came with a great price payed for by the children and society. I personally know of several situations where the pregnancies are planned for financial security. Statistics show that single parent children are less likely to complete school and go on to college, they are also more likely to repeat the same pattern and remain in poverty. These statistics address the situation as a whole and were taken from a secular economics text book called Principles of Economics by L. Rittenburg and T. Tregarthen. There are many variables and demographics considered in these studies. Some of the disadvantages are lower income, lesser education, and a lack of interaction with parents because of the situation. Gods laws are socially sound and obeying them greatly increases the chances of living a long happy and prosperous life.
Terry Galloway
Supporter
My born again adult children and I found out that my husband, who says he is a believer, but divorced me for clearly unbiblical reasons close to burning the toast, got secretly married to a young woman who wanted a child. He is in his 50's and is very involved in church but believes he can sin all he wants and be forgiven. My children and I prayed for months for him not to be given a child. To our human minds, it was devastating when God gave them a baby girl. So now I search the Scriptures to understand what is very painful to us. I know that willful disobedience and using the grace of Jesus Christ as a license to sin (Jude 4) receives condemnation. So God is doing one of two things-- either the child will be a testimony of God doing a new thing with this child where in spite of her parents adultery, she will be saved and serve the Lord, or God is blessing the parents here on earth before they will be destroyed. I must lean not on my own understanding. Psalm 73 So I tried to understand why the wicked prosper. But what a difficult task it is! 17 Then I went into your sanctuary, O God, and I finally understood the destiny of the wicked. 18 Truly, you put them on a slippery path and send them sliding over the cliff to destruction. Proverbs 20 Don’t say, “I will get even for this wrong.” Wait for the Lord to handle the matter. 23 The Lord detests double standards; he is not pleased by dishonest scales. 24 The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way? To reject the law is to praise the wicked; to obey the law is to fight them. 5 Evil people don’t understand justice, but those who follow the Lord understand completely. Romans 1 28 Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. 29 Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. 30 They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. 31 They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. 32 They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too. So, I know that my children which are those born to the wife of his youth (Malachi-- why God hates divorce and 1 Corinthians 7 why my children are holy (set apart)) belong to the Lord, but I don't know if God will treat this baby like He treated Ishmael born out of wedlock to Abraham or choose to save this baby too. No one knows whom God is going to save since salvation is a gift that we can not boast in since none of us has any control over being saved or not. But I also know that this woman who had no concern for me or my children with her own agenda for marrying my husband and having a baby could be a Jezebel in God's plan. Jezebel was given a baby, but God allowed it and then killed the child. In Revelation, God warns the churches about a lot of things that he is disgusted with and says that only those who overcome will be allowed into heaven. Revelation 2 20 “But I have this complaint against you. You are permitting that woman—that Jezebel who calls herself a prophet—to lead my servants astray. She teaches them to commit sexual sin and to eat food offered to idols. 21 I gave her time to repent, but she does not want to turn away from her immorality. 22 “Therefore, I will throw her on a bed of suffering,[c] and those who commit adultery with her will suffer greatly unless they repent and turn away from her evil deeds. 23 I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am the one who searches out the thoughts and intentions of every person. And I will give to each of you whatever you deserve. God is sovereign, we know nothing.
Charlitta Burruss
Supporter
The bible says, that we all have sinned and come short of the Glory of God. I had my Son out of wedlock and now, I am a Preacher today, so I thank God for him forgiving me for all that I have done. My Son was and is my blessing no matter how he got here and God turned my wrong into good for his purpose and today my Son is playing for several churches.
Leon Penny
Supporter
As you know adultery is a sin. I believe that adultery does not apply here; in that you are asking about having a child out of wedlock. First, the sin is how one gets pregnant, fornication. It is never a sin to give birth. Second, remember that Mary was not yet married when she conceived Jesus. She was engaged to Joseph. The conception in this case was not through intercourse, it was immaculate. Jesus could not be born through sin. Hope this helps.
Bren Stewart
Supporter
My response will be different then these, in that it will not be speaking about adultery nor fornication. I am speaking from the child's perspective. I am 61, and to this very day I struggle with believing that I was a mistake. Sometimes I wished my mother aborted me; I definitely have felt ashamed being born. In many different church environments that I have been in, including right now in read these answers above my my heart aches, my insides feel like running and hiding, and I feel ever so unwanted. My parents were married when I was born, but the marriage must have been fragile, and at my birth even more fragile as their 23 month old son had just drowned a month before I was born. I was given or taken away from my parents at 11 months. It has been years of feeling guilty that if my mother was not pregnant with me, she could have run to the creek and rescued her beloved son. Above, Tod wrote = Is a pregnancy out of wedlock a part of God's plan? I would say "no". This kind of teaching and statement incites shame in me, in that even though my parents were married it would seem that their marriage was not one that was suitable to bring a child into this world. Do you have any idea what it feels like or what you have to go through when you are in foster care and then adoption? Any way, one day, I fell upon these beautiful words: 13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psa 139:13-16 Whatever the parent's sin is, is something that they have to deal with. But the new born baby belongs to God. Why do we spend so much time and effort condemning the parents for their sins, and miss all together the gift of a new child that God has brought into this world? Instead, even now in 2014, adopted children and fostered children are stigmatized and often called Bastards. Some are treated as bought property and become slaves. Why are the people of the church not out there available to take these children in their arms and love them into this world, instead of treating them as though the have the plague? It is not their fault.
Melody Sutter-fisher
Supporter
Yes adultery or fornication are sins. However the birth of a child is a gift from God no matter how the pregnancy occurred. Life is a blessing and to abort that life is no less than murder of an innocent. The child did not commit the sin, it was the parents, and in some cases just one parent who forced themselves on the other. One of my children is a single mother, it has not been easy for her, but only because she is supporting another human being with one income. This is not uncommon even with two parents present. Children are always a blessing, no matter what your financial situation is. A child is the ultimate gift. Look at Abraham and Sarah, they waited until he was nearly 100 years old before God granted them a child (Isaac). Elizabeth had no children until she was in her 70's and then gave birth to John the Baptist. Not being able to have children was looked upon as a punishment by people in those days. They knew the great blessing of children came from God. Peace and Blessings to you.
david vernon
Supporter
There are many good answers, and many good examples to draw from the Word of God about the question at hand. However, I do want to come from a different angle to add more light hopefully to the subject. We are all aware that we are born with natural affection. It doesn't take long for a child to realize they have a crush on the person across the classroom. We know sin causes death, sin destroys. Well I want to make a big answer short so I will just say that sin also destroys our natural affection. We have seen parents destroy their children every way imaginable, and partly because the parents have lost their natural affection due to sin (adultery,fornication). Natural affection is like adhesives on tape, if you stick a piece on the wall and later peel it and put it elsewhere, sooner or later it loses it's stick ability. That's how we are too. We jump from one person to another, to another, from one relationship to another till soon we have formed a pattern and realize that we have no stick ability ourselves. I have never seen so little natural affection for one another as I see today, and I believe it's due to sin, namely adultery and fornication. Children are a bundle of Joy, and God reigns over the just and unjust, but keep an eye open, and let me know how it's going down the road. God never has blessed sin and never will, but he nailed it to a cross and put it back in hell where it was born, and he doesn't take our wicked behavior lightly. I can promise you, it may not be today or tomorrow, but the chickens will come home to roost. Gal.6:7
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