Bryan Myers Supporter Minister of the Body of Christ

First of all please accept my condolences. I have not lost a spouse, but I have lost a child, two in fact. It is important to remember that grieving is a process not an overnight event. I personally found my comfort in my adult son's being a Christian and knowing that, I have assurance of being with him in heaven. I am going to assume that your husband was a Christian. Take assurance in God's Word.

Seek the company of those in your church family, and your natural family. Do not isolate yourself as this can lead to depression. Most of all, remember that God has not left you, He will not forsake you. Cast your cares and sorrow upon Him. He can and will give you the strength to carry on through this trying time.

My our Lord bless you, and give you the comfort that you seek and need at this time.

July 26 2014 • 1 response • Vote Up • Share • Report

Agnes Stuart Supporter

This is a very difficult trial for you and you need the support of fellow Christians. James 5:13 says, "Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray." Bring all your grief, anxiety etc... to the Lord. He is the one who heals the broken hearted.

July 26 2014 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

t. lattimore Supporter

Pray. Prayer changes the heart hurts. God is a great listener.

July 26 2014 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Bob Johnson Supporter Layperson. Self Educated Theologically - see full bio

Get support from family and friends. If they are not close, seek support at church or even secular sources. Do something. Get out. Try not to wallow in your grief. Get counseling. Try a Grief support group.

Above all, pray and let God know how you feel. Your feelings are valid. Your grief is real. It happened, and forgive the term: but it really sucks.

Stay away from health+wealth preachers or churches. They say: "God wants you to be healthy and wealthy! He wants you to live and live abundantly!" There's a nugget of truth to that but they focus on the least part of the gospel. The true gospel is that while we still have tribulation in this world, it is still affected by sin. Your trial and his death, however are not "because" of your sin or his sin in particular.

I lost my wife 5 years ago to cancer. She wasn't a smoker or near 2nd hand smoke. It just happened. I found comfort in the Psalms and the Book of Job. In the Psalms David repeatedly cried out to God, sometimes in near anger, at his persecution and the threat of those trying to kill him. He wanted revenge. So expressing your frustration before God is ok. 

In the book of Job, Job was beset by lots of trouble: He lost his whole family - not just a spouse. He lost his house, animals, and his body was attacked by disease. Yet he praised God. He got bad advice from his friends, yet he praised God. At some point he somewhat blamed God and God responded by reminding him that God is God. God is supreme. God is sovereign. God is true. God is caring. After God was done reminding Job of this, Job realized the attitude he needed to have toward God. And that attitude was trust. It was trust even in the bad circumstances. In the end Job got double. Twice the animals, twice the wealth, etc. But he never knew why he went through what he went through. 

I think there are a couple of reasons why: 

1. Job didn't, and we don't, know what is going on in the spiritual realm kinda behind our backs. There was that thing with Satan and God and testing that Job never knew about. 2. Job didn't know that 3 thousand years later his story would be told to show God's sovereignty and care - to us - so we can be comforted. Do we know where our story leads? There is a plan. We just don't see it, and we don't need to.

Trust God above all for your grief. Look for the small ways you can use your experience to help others. Look for the little ways, seemingly coincidental, that God is providing for you. Remember your love. But remember God loves and cares for you more. 

It's been 5 years now for me and my anniversary that would have been 38 years of marriage was just last week. I still have twangs of grief. That anniversary day was hard emotionally. But most others are not. 

I also hated people that quoted things to me to supposedly give me comfort - like Romans 8:28 - Yes, God means all things for our good - and that is true - but sometimes I just wanted to tell them to take that verse and shove it because at that moment I didn't need to hear that - I needed someone to come along side and help. But I also realized that they mean well so I smiled and said "thank you". But also don't wallow in sympathy either. That can sometimes feel good and keep you from moving forward. That's a trap of the Devil. God wants you, and kept you here for a purpose. Try to find where that is. 

The last verse I want to share is from Isaiah 57:1-2 (NIV or NLT are good translations of this verse):

Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time.
But no one seems to care or wonder why.
No one seems to understand 
that God is protecting them from the evil to come.
For those who follow godly paths
will rest in peace when they die.

If Christian, your loved one is in the best place they could possibly be.
If not Christian, your loved one is in the best place they could possibly be. We trust God both ways. Who knows if they're saved at the end.

July 30 2014 • 1 response • Vote Up • Share • Report

Ella skinner Supporter Retail manager

I lost my husband may 31st. It's been hard. I do a lot of praying because without faith and hope that I will see him in heaven I wouldn't be able to make it. Hang in there, God will walk us through it. My name is Ella.

July 29 2014 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report