What does the Bible say about forgiving yourself?
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Asked July 01 2013
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Anonymous (via GotQuestions)
For follow-up discussion and general commentary on the topic. Comments are sorted chronologically.
John Greenland
I think the bigger problem is not knowing where the line is drawn between self forgiveness and license. I don't get any kind of vicarious kick out of reliving any of my many sins, but I often feel stuck in them because to forgive myself seems so like replacing guilt (however false) with complacency.
From my talks with friends I would guess that for whatever reasons, this is a very common problem in Christendom.
Danny Hickman
If you say you can't forgive yourself I seriously doubt that you know how to forgive others. I don't have a problem seeing sinfulness for what it is: it's a major part of being a normal person. To not forgive is to suffer with an overabundance of pride. It is to struggle with being judgmental.
There are degrees to everything, including sinful behavior. To have a violent personality is different from being envious, or given to gossip. Lying is of a different degree than holding a grudge. Telling the truth shouldn't be as difficult as it can be to get over being lied on.
Forgiving can be very hard to do. It depends on who you were hurt by, and what that person or persons did.
Feeling guilty for doing wrong is a good thing; it means your conscience is working properly. To not be able to put it behind you can mean that you sit in God's seat; it can mean you value God's forgiveness less than you do your own thoughts about wrongdoing. It can mean you're a judge, even to the point of being at the top of the heap.
You can no more undo or un-say what you've done or said than the person who said or did something to you that wasn't right. Being able to put it behind you is the same drill. There is no difference in getting past sinful actions, whether you commit them or they are committed against you. You tell it to the Lord:
Lord please forgive me of my trespass!
Lord forgive them for what they did to me!
In both instances you let God be God. Anything else is sin!