S. Michael Houdmann Supporter Got Questions Ministries

If you have lost a loved one to death, you know that it is a painful experience. Jesus understood the pain of losing someone close to His heart. In the Book of John (11:1-44), we learn that Jesus l...

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July 01 2013 • 2 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Gregory Tomlinson Supporter Minister, husband,father,grandfather,vet., college graduate

there is comfort in knowing that if the loved one was a believer they are not dead but only sleep, awaiting the trumpet and shout of the archangel to awake with us and live and reign with our king, lord and master.

If they were not a believer they are in the hands of a just God, an the scripture says that they that give even a drink of water to comfort a believer shall be rewarded.

Nothing can take away the longing to see and hold a love one but know this they are alive in your memories. They are part of who you are and that will be with you all the days of your life.

to lose someone who was not a believer is the saddest and hardest thing I have had to come to terms with. I am determined to be a better example to those around me, to love and encourage them while they are here and not wait to do them good and show them I care now.

I pray God give you peace and comfort now, as brothers and sisters in Christ w e are bound by His sacrifice to share one another's burdens, pain and joy. You are not alone we are members separate but one body.

there time here has past, let us make the best of the days we have left through loving and lifting one another up continually and earning the description to be Christ like. It is not a title but a description to Christian.
May God hold you close and comfort you and open the eyes of your understanding as only He can.

February 07 2014 • 3 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

jerry brownlee Supporter

The question,"How do I find comfort and peace when I have lost a loved one to death?" could better be answered if we knew the relationship to the writer.
There is a process that we all go through after the death of a loved one, but we can have that comfort and peace if we want it.
There are ten stages of grief:

1. SHOCK: This is the initial stage and will be expeienced even if it is expected, but it is Temporary. It often makes it difficult to make decisions.
2. Emotional Release: Many emotions are bottled -up and must be released. Some hospitals have "Screaming rooms."
3. Loneliness. Feelings of utter isolation-"There is no help for me."Feels as if God i no longer there and does not care. 
4. Physical symptions of distress.
5. Anxiety: may have dreams of the loved one. Hear or see them. Can't concentrate on anything-panic
6. Anger: Medical personnel;, Clergy, God, or person who died.
7. guilt: What did I do wrong? Say or shouldn't have said?
8. Hesitancy to renew normal activities? How will people treat me.
9 Healing of Memories: Sometimes painful memories are part of healing.Life goes on. Smile and laugh again You can make it!
10. Acceptance of one's new role in life. You are different now and have a different role. Often there will be a new, deeper faith. 

Next follow these Steps to Survival:
1. Recognize the loss.
2. Be with the pain: you're hurting. Admit it
3. You are not alone
4. You're a beautiful, worthwhile person.
5. You will survive.
6. Give yourself time to heal.The greater the loss-The more time it will take.
7. Healing has progressions and Regressions:
8. Tomorrow will come:
9. Take good care of yourself: plenty of rest-schedule
10. Keep decisions-making to a minimum:
11. Seek comforting: Accept support from others-seek it.
12. Surround yourself with living things-A new plant=Pet
13. Re-affirm your beliefs:Use your faith right now.
14. Week-end and Holidays are the worst:
15. Suicide thoughts may arise-they are a symptom of pain. Seek help if needed.
16. Do your mourniong now.
17. Be gentle with yourself
18. Let yourself heal completely
19. Momentos: use them if neede
20. Anticipate a Positive outcome:
21 It's ok to feel depressed: Crying is cleansing
22. it's ok to feel anger.
23. Nutrition: Eat good.
24. You're vulnerable: get help from trustworthy friends.
25. Beware of rebounds:
26 Beware of addictive activities.
27. Set a time limit on mourning:
28. Keep a Journal
29 Heal at your own pace.
30 Look to the future. New ways to do things. May be fun.
31. Give yourself praise.
32. Be open: give yourself opportuonities to meet new people.
33. Begin to give of yourself: This will help to bring back that joy.
34.Expect relapses:
35. Alone does not mean lonely
36..Enjoy our freedom.You are not in control.
37.Find and be a part of a group in your community of suffering people like you.
38. Spend time in Prayer and Bible study and you will fine that comfort and peace.

Jerry Brownlee

June 11 2017 • 1 response • Vote Up • Share • Report

pj edelman Supporter

As a Christian whose Christian husband recently died after 50+ years of marriage, I find I apparently have a slightly different perspective/opinion on death. I do not believe death is "a stepping stone to a better place." Death is not "a part of life." Death is not natural.

Death as we experience it, along with the abandonment of hope that the loved one will recover or survive, is the closest Satan can come to forcing us to realize his vision for our lives.

I refuse to honor that vision with my acceptance of it as somehow a part of life.

We were created for eternal life. God intended that mankind would eat from the Tree of Life and live forever in the garden prepared for him. We kick against death, hate death, refuse to accept death, because it is the very opposite of what God intended for us.

I no longer feel ashamed or apologetic for the anger I feel at having to wait for my eternal reunion with my loved ones who have died before me. I know there is no marriage in heaven. I know the relationships will be better, holier, eternal. But my husband is there. I am here. God did not intend that it be this way, so how can I quickly and easily slip into comfortable acceptance of this admittedly temporary but still wrong separation?

No, I am not bitter. I am brave. It takes courage to say what others either truly do not think or believe, or perhaps are not willing to give voice to. When I have said these things to a few trusted fellow Christians who have experienced the death of loved ones, I have been surprised at how relieved they were to be able to voice some of these same thoughts.

In my mind, the understanding or and acceptance of the wrongness, the evil, the futility, the utter failure of Satan's attempt to corrupt God's intentions for us makes the sacrifice of Christ even greater, if that were possible. On the cross He returned what Satan stole, and though I am angry, I have an underlying joy that cannot be taken from me, because I know that eternal life has been restored. I don't have to want to wait for it. I just have to do it.

September 02 2018 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report