Jennifer Rothnie Supporter Housewife, Artist, Perpetually Curious

Man is fallen, and can commit the most terrible and heinous of crimes. Murder, rape, torture, and slavery are some of the worst - but are especially repugnant when done to children, because children cannot defend themselves.

Yet in many cultures, the harm of children is commonplace. Child slavery, child sacrifice, torture of children, underage rape and marriage, etc. Almost no country is completely void of almost institutionalized harm to the most vulnerable category of humans. Even the U.S.A and other first world countries allow abortion.

Sometimes, these atrocities hit close to home and affect a loved one, even ourselves. Then we are faced with a harrowing difficulty - how do we forgive?

It's one thing to intellectually say we should be forgiving, another to be called on and convicted that we do need to forgive.

We need to recognize what forgiveness actually is. Forgiveness is overlooking or dismissing a debt of some kind, so that the indebted person does not have to pay. Forgiveness is not personally forgetting, but 'legally forgetting' as if the debt had never existed. Things have been reconciled to '0'. Our subsequent actions should not be based on the erased debt.

Forgiveness is not merely a term to make oneself feel better while simultaneously demanding someone pay the debt. Forgiveness is also a personal action. We cannot forgive someone for the actions they did to an unrelated person - it is not our debt to forgive nor crime to avenge. We cannot forgive someone for a civil crime or felony, that is up to the courts. (For example, we might be able to forgive a rapist for the emotional hurt caused by rape, but it is up to the courts to convict or forgive of the crime of rape).

We can only forgive crimes and debts incurred against our own person, or if we have the direct responsibility on behalf of someone else. (For example, a parent might forgive an accidental harm done to their child rather than suing.)

We need to trust in the character of God. God asks that we forgive, just as He forgives us. Jesus forgave those who tortured and murdered Him, even though he was innocent and did not defend Himself. God loves mercy, loves justice, and knows what is best for us. He cares for the oppressed. He would not ask of us something that was immoral or that would harm us - but what is for our healing.

While it is opposite our natural thoughts as humans, forgiveness does bring healing. If you leave someone owing a debt, then the debt becomes an obsession. They owe me, they hurt me, they need to pay, when are they going to pay - it's an infection that eats at emotions, harms relationships, and even can harm the body. (The book "Deadly Emotions" by Don Colbert, MD shows through the eyes of a therapist how things like bitterness, unforgiveness, and jealousy can excaberate and even cause physical disorders.)

For the worst abuses in my life that I have gone through, I found that greater harm was caused in my life by the unforgiveness than by the original crimes, and that the greatest healing came after forgiveness.

We need to recognize our priorities. Is our mission on Earth to bring justice for every crime, or is it to spread the gospel and point to God's justice? Is it to avenge every wrong, or share that we ourselves are sinners forgiven by God through Christ?

Paul was the 'chief of sinners' - yet God called him to preach to the gentiles. Some of the early converts had once been thieves, adulterers, homosexuals, etc (I Cor 6:7-11). There is no one who cannot come to God, and our task on Earth is foremost to spread the gospel and to worship Christ along with the church.

 We need to recognize our own forgiveness by God. If we come to the point of brokenness as we recognize God's forgiveness, then we will not withhold it from others. 

"Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven - as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” Luke 7:47

April 28 2016 • 3 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Dodie Allers Supporter Christian, Wife, Mother

I am a survivor too. I was given an apt definition of forgiveness as "giving up our right to revenge" and trust as "giving them the chance to do it again". 
However the Bible tells us in Romans 12:19 (ESV) Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Give your "right to revenge" over to The Lord, it's His anyway. 
"Trust is giving them a chance to do it again", that's where I personally have trouble. I pray for God's guidance on it. 
Prayerfully consider if you actually having problems forgiving those who commit such evils or whether your issues are with trust. Either way, ask for God's healing. 
May God Bless You

April 28 2016 • 2 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Mark Pritchard Supporter

While it's not easy to forgive someone that commits a terrible act, it is necessary to do so,

Matthew 6:12-15 NKJV:
And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

April 27 2016 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report