S. Michael Houdmann Supporter Got Questions Ministries

We all know people whom we find "difficult" in one way or another, and we're all called upon to deal with difficult people at some time or another. A difficult person may be one who is condescendin...

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July 01 2013 • 2 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

James Kraft Supporter 74 year old retired pipeline worker

Jesus was kind and loving to sinners, but He showed no respect to the religious Pharisees. He called them vipers, and said they were of their father the devil. He told His deciples to leave them alone. 

Sometimes we just need to walk away. Pride and selfrightousness were their religion. Jesus had nothing good to say about them. They were teaching the opposite of what Jesus was teaching. 

We can forgive them like Jesus did on the cross, but we do not have to put up with them either. What fellowship has darkness with light?

August 18 2015 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

STANLEY S. DRANE Supporter

I'm glad you asked. We see in 1st Peter 3:9 (Life Application Bible Notes), in God's Kingdom, revenge is unacceptable behavior. So is insulting a person, no matter how indirectly it is done. Rise above getting back at those who hurt you. Instead of reacting angrily to these people, pray for them; that's how we should deal with difficult people, rather that get back at them.

May 27 2017 • 2 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Sally Gecks Supporter

The way I deal with difficult people is to love as well as I can and to not allow myself or anyone else to be taken advantage of. I certainly don't do this perfectly, nor does doing this prevent all problems when dealing with others. If there is a problem between myself and another person that results in resentment, I feel obligated to follow Jesus' own formula for conflict resolution, Matthew 5:23-24, “If therefore you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother or sister has anything against you, leave your gift there before the altar. First be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.” 

I consider the inverse of this Scripture to be applicable too. If I have anything against someone that I cannot resolve with the Lord's help through forgiveness, I believe it is imperative to speak to that person in an attempt to resolve my inability to forgive. The first time I heard this passage, I recognized it as Jesus' direction for conflict resolution. I was a new Christian then, but I have never ceased holding myself and others to this standard. 

Following these words of Jesus has given me the blessing of forgiving others. My intention is to always forgive, no matter what the cost. Confronting others, especially "difficult" people is usually not easy. It certainly is not the world's way. My attempts at resolution of problems with other Christians often is met with incredulity that I would even bother. Many people would rather ignore difficulties than resolve them. Therefore, I approach the other person with the sole motivation of resolution for ME. 

I speak to them because I have not been able to forgive something that happened between us. My intent is to express my thoughts and feelings simply to be heard, not to point a finger or berate them in any way. In other words, I OWN my reactions and my feelings. In so doing, I have been able to release my emotions about the situation. This enables me to forgive regardless of the response I receive.

May 12 2020 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Jack Gutknecht Supporter Arizona Bible College graduate and Dallas Seminary graduate

If this occurs in a church, one of the benefits of correctly dealing with difficult people is this, specified in God's Word, the Bible.

James 3:18: "You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor."

April 01 2022 • 2 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Jeffrey Johnson Supporter

What does the Bible say about dealing with difficult people?

The Bible advises dealing with difficult people with patience, love, and grace, treating them as opportunities for spiritual growth rather than merely as sources of conflict. Key principles include loving enemies, praying for those who mistreat you, setting healthy boundaries, and overcoming evil with good.

Biblical Principles for Challenging Relationships:

Respond with Grace and Love: Instead of reacting, choose responses that reflect God's character, such as blessing those who curse you (Romans 12:14).

Practice Humility and Patience: Value others above yourself and remain patient, as described in Philippians 2:3-4 and Ephesians 4:2.

Forgive Without Waiting for Apologies: Colossians 3:13 instructs believers to make allowances for each other's faults and forgive as the Lord forgave them.

Do Not Seek Revenge: Leave vengeance to God rather than reciprocating evil, according to Romans 12:19. 

Proactive Kindness: Feed your enemy if they are hungry, which can "heap burning coals on his head" (Romans 12:20). 

Set Healthy Boundaries: While loving others, it is not required to be a doormat or tolerate abuse; sometimes it is necessary to confront in love or distance yourself (Matthew 18:15-17).

Pray for Them: Pray for their hearts and for your own response (Matthew 5:44).

Refuse to be Offended: Proverbs 19:11 notes that it is glorious to overlook an offence.

If you find it difficult to forgive someone who has treated you badly, it may help you to remember that he, too, is coping with something very difficult.

Jesus made it clear that we should not harbour anger toward others, even when they have treated us badly. He said: "Continue to love your enemies and to pray for those persecuting you."​—Matthew 5:44.

Forgive: To stop feeling angry or upset over the wrong conduct of someone else. This does not mean we have to approve of the wrong conduct or pretend it did not hurt others. When we forgive, it helps us to feel peaceful inside.

But if we are not willing to forgive, it can make us feel sick and stressed. It is difficult for us to get along with others. But the most important benefit of being willing to forgive is that we will have a good relationship with our heavenly Father.

Remember Paul's words at Colossians 3: 13-14: ESV: "Forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man have a complaint against any; even as the Lord forgave you, so also do ye: 14 and above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness."

7 days ago • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report