For follow-up discussion and general commentary on the topic. Comments are sorted chronologically.
If I were to die today and my husband and children are still living. I obviously love them with every ounce of my being. when someone dies everyone says "they are looking down on you from heaven." Where did this phrase come from if we aren't going to acknowledge their exsistance in heaven? I understand that we will be made to think as God, but If all we've ever known was the love of our children wouldn't we miss them when we pass as much as they miss us?
The Lord Jesus promised that we will receive an abundance of what we leave behind for the sake of His Name in this life and the one to come. I was reading Psalm 89 and Hebrews 10, so I understand that it is heartbreaking to see your close relatives behaving in a way that leads to destruction. I pray they may receive the gift of faith, but I must respect their free will.
As I am in conflict with my "loved ones'" unbelieving conduct, I actually think of them as distant acquaintances; we do not have a part with each other's life already, just mutual disapproval. I can just pray and hope for such people.
I believe a scripture given for God is perfect was a typo. The scripture reference
given was Psalm 18:3 and I believe it should have been Psalm 18:30.
This question brings up another point which is that of being unequally yoked in marriage. I don't know how God will grant total happiness to someone whose spouse is not in heaven, but I fully trust that he will. However, why would a believer ever marry an unbeliever and have to live their whole married life knowing that the unbeliever will not be in heaven. To me, that full knowledge would cause a type of hell on earth.