For follow-up discussion and general commentary on the topic. Comments are sorted chronologically.
Brian Ansell
In any family each member should love the others equally. That love may not always be reciprocated. But love is about giving. As in the Good Samaritan. If times come when there is a choice to be made then the one in greatest need should be dealt with first. The other one would understand that if the family all loved each other. If one is sick their need is greater. If one is hungry, thirsty Jesus gave us a list.
ainsley chalmers
I agree completely with the comments in this article on priorities. However there are circumstances where one may have to rethink these, and I will now relate my life experiences re this matter as they may help others.
My wife, a devout Christian, died of cancer over 20 years ago at age 48. I remarried 5 years later to a divorced Christian woman whose husband was violent and adulterous. She had 3 teenage kids and I had 3 daughters in their early 20s. Two of my daughters were single mums with 3 children. I was hoping we would end up like the Brady bunch on TV (minus Alice). Her children lived in our house and I supported them through final years of school. My kids had their own digs.
In short my second wife was running down 2 of my single mum daughters to neighbors saying their 3 kids should be taken away from them. She also tried to restrict my contact with them to 1 phone call or 1 meeting per week. I tried to comply but just couldn't. I felt like the meat in the sandwich. If I pleased my kids this displeased her and vice versa.
I made contact with a marriage counselor but she wouldn't comply. In the end I had to leave our 4 year old marriage and 2 years later she filed for divorce on grounds of incompatibility and remarried 3 years later. I am still single. When I left her our pastor said that my wife must be first priority but I just couldn't desert my 2 daughter and 3 grand kids.
Initially I was besotted with guilt over broken marriage vows to God and misplaced Christian priorities. My second wife was a beautiful woman and I was greatly grieved. In hindsight however I felt that I had done the right thing before God in supporting my own flesh and blood. Maybe I was wrong, only God knows. God did say something about caring for widows and orphans. I now have 5 grand kids and 2 great grand kids. God has really blessed me despite my possible wrong decision making and misplaced priorities.