They are believers and know what they are doing is against God's word.
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I am sure, being a Christian couple that you know your Bible but I would very much like to encourage you to read Galatians 5:18-21. These verses mention fornication which means sexual relations between unmarried couples. Sometimes it is hard to accept God's Word but He gives it to us for our own good. Just remember, we all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God but He is able and just to forgive us our sins. I hope this helps. I do not judge, I just want to help so please do not be offended by this answer. God bless you both.
The Greek word, "porneia" includes fornication which is defined as sexual immorality outside the marriage bond. More specifically, fornication is defined as sexual relations between two unmarried people. Rev. 21:8 declares a list of those who will be thrown into the lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death. Included in this list are those who practice sexual immorality and who refuse to repent. Paul also warns that fornicators [practicing] will not inherit the Kingdom of God.[Gal. 5:19-21] Fornication can be forgiven, if it is repented of and then discontinued. Paul also declares that "some of them were" implying they were immoral before they became believers, but now they are clean. [see also I Cor. 6:12-20]
I think that the New Covenant is not about what one does but why one does it and "the thoughts (of the mind) and attitudes of the heart" (Hebrews 4:12-13). Indeed, I further believe that a refusal to get married is a sign of the lack of commitment towards each other and therefore a lack of love for each other. Love is unconditional and I cannot think of one reason to NOT commit to a relationship when one says, 'I love you,' except to keep the door open for 'something better.' If you love someone enough to have intimate physical contact even to share the same bedroom, one should love them enough to never leave them for 'greener pastures'. Similarly, if one does not love them enough to commit to a lifetime together, one does not love them enough for one a shared bedroom much less one single night of physical bliss. I view this as a self-seeking attitude and the Bible has a lot to say about that (Acts 2:42-47, Philippians 2:3-5). On the the second issue, if one does love God more than themself and more than their lover, (Luke 14:25-33), they will obey God (1John 2:3-5) and what he commands regarding sexual activity is that "their not be even a hint" (Ephesians 5:3-5) and that those living that way "cannot enter the Kingdom." "Not be even a hint," goes beyond not having forbidden sex but not letting others think that you are having forbidden sex. As for forbidden sex, Galatians 5:19-25 makes clear what was already "obvious" and again states that those who live that way "cannot enter the Kingdom." It is written that, "for this reason, a man should leave his mother and father and be united with the woman he loves and the two shall become one flesh." To deny marriage but claim love is to ignore entirely the teachings of the Bible.
It is important to remember that marriage in the time time of Christ was not performed by the church. If the two commit to each other and have the blessing of the parents then this will be fine in the eyes of God. Biblical marriage is a commitment between a man and a woman not a piece of paper. http://www.bible.ca/marriage/ancient-jewish-three-stage-weddings-and-marriage-customs-ceremony-in-the-bible.htm
If they are true believers (and not just saying "I believe") then they will have a personal relationship with God where they put Him and His Word above all else. If this was the case, surely they would want to repent of what they are doing and stop doing it if they see it as wrong. If they are believers, they will understand they are hurting their relationship with God. It would be like if I said I loved my wife but cheated on her every day. My actions do not reflect the words that I say. Finally, if they know they are doing the wrong thing, they are choosing something (their own desires, wants) over God. If you place things before God, knowingly and consistently, I would wonder if you have true belief in Him and who He is.
Jesus is coming into the world not to condemn us, but to save us through him (John 3: 16-18); if we believe this is so, why wouldn't they be able to be saved? If they believe in Jesus, they will repent and leave their life of sin (John 8: 3-11) and go to paradise when they die (Luke 23: 41-43).
They may claim/affirm they "love each other" but their relationship is still sinful. Why? Because sexual relations outside the marriage bond are wrong. Such a relationship will turn their hearts from godliness (Proverbs 7:25) and may very well lead to all kinds of complexities, even death. As James Leo Kropf retired pastor commented above, referring to 1 Cor 6:15-20, sexual sin is singly dangerous since it fuses 2 individuals at the soul level, as intended and destined solely for marriage. They may still go to heaven, "yet so as by fire." Google this quotation to find out the exact Bible reference here.
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