For follow-up discussion and general commentary on the topic. Comments are sorted chronologically.
Bob Johnson
I concur with most of the answers so I'm not going to quote much scripture and instead will express my feelings as I dealt, as a Christian, with the loss of my wife to cancer 6 years ago. At the time I didnt think I could deal with the loss of my love, my life, and my joy of 34 years.
At our wedding we used the verse from Eccl 4:12. " A three stranded cord will never be broken. We saw each of us as a strand, braided with Christ as a strong thing. One strand broke, and without that strand of Christ, perhaps I would have too. But the cord held. I didnt think i would come through, but I did. I also sought friends who were good support. And counseling.
Truth be told, most of my Christian friends were of little help. They would quote Bible verses about God's will, and Romans 8:28 so much I almost came to loath when they did so. What I needed was for them to not quote, but to be there and acknowledge the pain with me.
Of course, as a Christian I knew all those verses and quoted them myself when others were in difficulty. Now I know a little better. Acknowledege with them the Truth of those biblical words but also acknowledge the hurt and let the questioning of God, and let the whys be whys that dont need an answer. He can take it. Look at how David complained to God. Jesus wept over Lazarus even when He already knew he was going to raise him to life again. Jesus' tears were tears of anger as much as loss. Anger because of the fact of death, not the loss. Thats why Jesus died on the cross... To conquer death.
The Bible promises pain and grief. But it also promises victory over them through Jesus Christ our Lord with a future without grief and weeping forever. In the meantime let the grieving grieve, and be there for and with them.
D Shelby
Thank you for acknowledging the reality of my pain...after my mom went home to glory in December and my ex-husband just went home to glory a week ago...I know they both are with the Lord, and no longer in pain.