Ben Jones Supporter Retired Professional Photographer

I have "been there done that, and I've got the scars to prove it." After fighting addiction to porno for years I became disillusioned with Christianity. After all Jesus said in Matthew 5:48 "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." So what is perfect? I looked it up! Perfect-being entirely without fault or defect: flawless. That was not me. In addition to porno I had a nasty temper and a foul mouth. I was far from perfect and the devil loved to remind me of that every day. So one Sunday several years after receiving Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior I told my wife I was not going to go to church with her that morning because i was no longer saved. I was not perfect like Jesus said I must be so I quit. She said nothing, but she did ask the women at church to pray for me.

Six months later the church had a revival and I let my wife talk me into attending. They had a guest speaker from Philadelphia. He preached on Luke 9:62 "But Jesus said to him, 'No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.'” He went on to say that if you are a born again Christian and you are intentionally sinning, it is too late for you and according to Hebrews 6:4 it is impossible for you to go to heaven. You WILL go to Hell so live it up and have lots of fun because where you are going it isn't going to be fun at all. I went home VERY dejected. 

Several months later the church got a new pastor and my wife asked him for a few minutes in his office with her. She told him about me and he said to go home and tell your husband that I will wait 15 minutes for him in the office. She did and I went. He shook my hand and said "I've always wanted to shake the hand of someone who was more powerful than God, how do you do!" I was dumbfounded and mumbled "I'm not more powerful than God." He said "Yes you are! Your wife said that you received Christ a number of years ago, but you have decided that you are no longer saved." Jesus said in John 10:28-29 "And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. “My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand." You have somehow overpowered God and have snatched yourself out of God's hand. 

I said I was NOT more powerful than God. He said, "You are right. Repent now and confess that you will trust God for your help and your salvation and you will stop relying on your supposed ability to resist sin. You are a sinner saved by grace."

I did and life has been absolutely wonderful. My wife never confronted me, yelled at me or pleaded with me, she just prayed for me and loved me unconditionally. God's timing may be slow but it is perfect.

July 10 2020 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Monya Wilkins Supporter

1 Corinthians 12:6
There are different ways of working, but the same God works all things in all men. 

I am moved by your question and understand your concern for his spiritual well being. If he will be forgiven and allowed into Heaven isn't your concern. That is God's and you need to give it to him. In our walk as Christians, it is our duty to know when God is talking to us. After all, isn't this a personal relationship with Him? I think God is talking to you. It is not your responsibility to "fix" your husband. All you can do is continue to pray for him, show God's love to him and then leave it up to God how he will work this. Pray to God about your feelings of compassion and understanding. Perhaps your husband needs to seek addiction help from a professional. Is there an underlying cause for porn watching? If so then an open conversation between you and him is vital. It will be difficult but you can't grow as a couple in God if you don't communicate without judgment and then pray. I wish both of you all the blessings that God has in store for you.

March 28 2020 • 1 response • Vote Up • Share • Report

Billy P Eldred Supporter

Great question! 

There are many who would say as long as he says he believes Jesus died for his sins that he is saved and always will be. The Bible says even demons believe. I believe there is more to it than that.

I am not saying that once he is saved, by sinning he loses that salvation. I am saying that if he believes it is okay to sin because he is forgiven, then he might want to take a hard look at whether he is really saved and if he really believes Jesus is who he said He is! And if he was once saved but has chosen to reject Jesus in favor of his life of sin. 

I believe that the rejection of Jesus is the unforgivable sin. (Jesus, the Holy Spirit and God are all the same in three different entities) I believe that one can reject Jesus at any time, before or after becoming Saved.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.” John 15: 5-6

Jesus: “ Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching”. If you really believe Jesus is who he says he is, Will you not love Him? And loving Him, follow his teaching? Repenting from sin.

I would say that he should start by reading Jesus parables and His explanations of them. He needs to understand a need for repentance and make SURE he is on good terms with the one who can save him. 

All that being said, I don’t know that you are the one who should share this with him. Maybe a pastor would be better to approach him.

May God bless you and a final word of advice. Pray for him. Not that God would change him but that God would bless him. If you pray that and mean it, I believe you both will be blessed.

March 27 2020 • 4 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Thomas Riccardi Supporter Warrior Spirit

I feel the hurt in your question. The enemy (satan) will use weaknesses in us to distract us from the Lord and what he has planned for us. I think it is best written in scripture in the book of Jude...Jude 1:22-23 22: Be merciful to those who doubt; 23 save others by snatching them from the fire; to others show mercy, mixed with fear-hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh. 

In other words, hate that sin but love your husband and may the Lord heal him from this addiction. It is the enemy who is behind all this...I pray the Lord open your husband's eyes and heart to repentance.

March 27 2020 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Al Mark Supporter

The question of whether one is saved and will be admitted into heaven is not one for others to answer, but between God and the person in question. We do not have full knowledge as God does, and we are incapable of knowing all the things that are going on inside someone else's mind.

However, those who think they are believers are given instructions to follow before they participate in communion, which is for believers only. "A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup." 1 Cor 11:28 Each participant is to check themselves, to see where they stand before God. If they fail to do so, they are in danger of condemnation. The same instructions apply to people in everyday life - we should not deceive ourselves into thinking we are believers if it is evident we are not, and the fruit we bear is an external indication. Ultimately, it is between God and that person, to know for sure if we are saved.

July 10 2020 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report