Paula Fether Supporter Lifelong student of the scriptures

In Luke 17:3 Jesus said, "Watch yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him."

So first comes rebuke, then comes repentance, and finally forgiveness. If he has not been rebuked and not repented, you're not obliged to forgive him. It's all too easy for those who haven't been traumatized to say it only hurts you to withhold forgiveness, but God is also a God of justice for victims.

I pray there is a way you can get away from him, as it only makes the trauma worse to be forced to be in contact with him.

March 02 2025 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Danny Hickman Supporter Believer in The Gospel Of Jesus Christ

I won't minimize the trauma of rape. It's horrible to even imagine! My dad had a favorite saying; he'd say, 'He oughta be hung twice.' I agree!

I don't want to reduce the importance of scripture; the Word of God is the lamp that gives light in darkness (Psalm 119:105). There's no better guide available to us on a daily basis. But, here it is: we can read how God wants us to forgive those who would dare to rape us all we want, and I don't believe we will get any closer to forgiving the rapist, and it doesn't matter how long we try to do it that way.

I think I understand this: the victim of rape feels obligated to forgive the rapist because of Scripture. Here it is: "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14,15 NLT). (that has to be unpacked; on the surface, it poses a serious problem for a case like this one). 

The NLT is the only translation I've read that inserts the phrase, "refuse to forgive." The others simply say, 'If you don't forgive, you won't receive God's forgiveness.' That is a high mark for which to aim. One could read the NLT translation and declare, 'I'm not REFUSING to forgive; I just don't know how to make it happen when I'm feeling the pain of the offense.' 
THAT is a confession of truth! It's easy to claim you've forgiven someone; there's nothing hard about that! 

I trust in God! I would never tell anyone that I've forgiven a man who raped my daughter, or wife. I CAN'T forgive such a thing! I certainly wouldn't pretend that I can forgive a man who raped me! There's no way I can accomplish that. I ain't ashamed to admit it either! Neither am I proud of being a weak Christian. So, I boast that I understand my weakness, and I know God's grace. 

Those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know Me and understand that I am the LORD who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the LORD, have spoken (Jeremiah 9:24). 

HE IS THE LORD! 

If you try to forgive a man who raped you by reading that you're obligated to forgive him if you want to be forgiven for your sins, two things will result: you won't really get any closer to forgiving him, and it might cause you to doubt that you are forgiven by God. When we do that, we are supposing our ability to forgive to be equal to God's forgiveness. That was not Jesus' intention. When we read it without the proper context, it can actually sound that way. (It's been given that kind of understanding for ages). What's the proper context?

Jesus compared forgiving others to fasting; that's how He backed up what He said about giving and receiving forgiveness. He said, "When you fast, comb your hair and wash your face, and no one will notice that you're fasting, EXCEPT GOD..." He said the Father will reward you (Matt 6:17,18).

There it is: you can try to forgive your rapist YOURSELF, or you can ask God to forgive him for what he did to you. People will tell you that the offender needs to show that he has changed or repented, then it'll be easier for you to forgive him; that's not how we're configured. We receive forgiveness from God. ALL OF US! God will forgive you your unforgiveness toward the rapist, if you ask Him. Then your feelings about it will begin to change. 

Jesus didn't say, 'Father, I forgive them for what they've done to Me.' He said, "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34). 

What would make anyone sacrifice their own babies by throwing them in the fire? 2 Kings 17:17 states, "They even sacrificed their own sons and daughters in the fire. They consulted fortune-tellers and practiced sorcery and sold themselves to evil, arousing the LORD'S anger." Why would they do that? They didn't know; they thought they could bypass God. Trying to offer our brand of forgiveness is the same futility; bypassing God.

13 days ago • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report