Kelli Trujillo Supporter Loving Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Teacher, Musician

This is a great question, and very relevant for today’s culture. The “cancel culture” movement, or the “estrangement cult,” has been growing exponentially in recent years, largely fueled by social media. While the Bible doesn’t address this issue specifically, there are underlying principles we can apply, starting with the fifth of the Ten Commandments: 

Exodus 20:12: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” I’d say this means honoring parents is pretty important to God. Ghosting parents for no valid reason is a clear violation of this commandment.

Also, Ephesians 6:1-4 says: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’ Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Some might use the last verse as justification for ghosting parents, stating that their parents “exasperated them” too much, but nowhere in the Bible are children encouraged to cut off their parents.

Family conflicts are inevitable, and few families are exempt. But God is ALWAYS for reconciliation, forgiveness, and restoration. All throughout the Bible, there are examples of how God forgave when people and whole nations repented, and Jesus spoke firmly about the importance of forgiveness: Matthew 6:14-15: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” 

No parent is perfect, and most try their best. I’ll acknowledge that there are extreme cases in which genuine abuse occurred, or in which overbearing parents refuse to take their hands off of their adult children’s lives, and hard boundaries need to be drawn. But this current generation has been barraged by TikTok campaigns and other social media sources that have a demonic agenda to destroy the parent-child relationship. 

The new wave of so-called counselors and psychiatrists is also fueling this movement because it keeps people dependent on their services; they have replaced parental figures, offering empty advice that doesn’t really solve problems and creates division within families. Valid terms like “setting boundaries” and “gaslighting” are being overused and misapplied to situations that don’t match what parents really did to their children, and an epidemic of parental estrangement by children has resulted.

So what should our response be? Again, the Bible doesn’t address this issue specifically, but there are biblical principles we can apply as Christians: 

First of all, look to God for comfort and strength. He can fill the void and give you joy in the midst of trial and suffering. Second, we have to forgive–TRULY forgive. I know people whose children estranged them for decades, even denying them access to grandchildren. Even in the face of such injustice and deep loss, unconditional love and forgiveness are essential. (Matt. 6:14-15)

Third, we need to be patient and trust God. There is no way to force a child, guilt-trip a child, Bible-bash a child, or manipulate a child into wanting to reconcile. The waiting is hard, but experts on the subject advise taking your hands off the situation and letting God handle it His way, in His time.

Last, seek support and information from others who are also experiencing estrangement from children. This is a prevalent issue today, and there are many resources available. Many churches and social media platforms offer support groups.

I recommend two books: "Done with the Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children" by Sheri McGregor, and "Forget Them Kids: Challenging the One-Sided Narrative of the Estrangement Epidemic and the Biased Therapy Trends That Fuel It" by Vivian King.

You are not alone!

12 hours ago • 1 response • Vote Up • Share • Report

Jack Gutknecht Supporter Arizona Bible College graduate and Dallas Seminary graduate

Dear anonymous, I am so sorry this is happening to you! I can't even begin to imagine what pain you or his younger siblings must feel. There is a song that can work alongside of Psalm 34:18. The song is based on Psalm 147:3 which says "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Your heart is shattered. That verse speaks directly to healing, not just comfort. Psalm 34:18 says God is close to the brokenhearted. Psalm 147:3 says He heals them. You need both. The song gives you the healing promise in a form you can listen to over and over. It's called

"He Heals the Brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3-5-NIV). Scripture Memory Songs"

Let Psalm 147:3 become the anthem of your healing journey, one listen at a time. You are not wrong to seek comfort in God's Word, whether read or sung. Remember, God is "the God of all comfort." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
English Standard Version
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

5 days ago • 1 response • Vote Up • Share • Report

Billie R. Supporter

If you're saved then your identity is Christ. Children will "leave and cleave"(Gen.2:24). As adults now, they're responsible for their own choices. This leaves you responsible for your own choice as to how you'll handle this. Forgiveness is the 1st step to reconciliation. As Christ did it for us, so must we do for others. (Eph4:32). Pray for their hearts to soften, be introspective and see what the Lord reveals to you. Finally, trust in the Lord that His purposes be fulfilled (Prov.3:5-6). May God bless & keep you.

5 days ago • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report