Shantkumar S. Kunjam Supporter An Indian, Mennonite Church, Pastor, Administrator, Bishop,

This is a very difficult question. And to the person who is going through all those misfortunes, it will be difficult to be counseled, and for the counselors also to counsel such a person.

The very first thing will be to be with that person as friend without holding anyone responsible for those misfortunes and pray for him/her.

If material helps are needed then as far as possible for you help him or guide where such help may be available. Be very careful in providing any help. All helps whether material, spiritual or social, they tend to make the helped dependent on the helper. That should not happen. Be with the person as a catalyst that helps things to act but itself is not touched.

You should keep this in mind that though God can not be blamed for anything that happens or not happens, yet God takes responsibility and is willing and capable to make good of everything. In the case of Job, Satan was directly responsible but God takes the responsibility and makes good of everything (Job 2:3; 42:10-17). The book of 1 Peter is very good counseling book on suffering. Verses like Rom. 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." and 1 Cor. 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." have given much comfort to the believers. But remember preaching to such people is not always appreciated. Job's friends preached Job, but had failed.

Such people are very touchy and sensitive, every time before approaching that person pray for God's wisdom in helping that person. This is a time people may open up their innermost heart, so never talk about those things with anyone else, even with your most trusted friend or if you are married with your spouse. This will be an offense against that person on your part. Always take the permission of that person if you want to include others in helping that person.

Remember that a counselor is not an advisor. An advisor gives advices but a counselor helps the person find the answers. So be with the person in sorting out the right answer. If any action is taken let all credit go to that person, whether successful or failed.

Remember the title of our Lord, "Wonderful Counselor" (Is. 9:6). Be close to Him in all your efforts. May God bless you.

March 23 2014 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Gene Waldenmaier Supporter Retired, Commissioned Officer, BSME, MBA, PE, Consultant

Sorry that I can not provide an exquisite Biblical advice!

A start may be to gather some Biblical believer to bathe this in prayer before treating this friend to see 'God's Not Dead' or something equivalent.

You, we, may never know the hurts and disappointments others [even fundamental Biblical believers] experience but our God does. These people may just need that special kindness to open their hearts and allow the Holy Spirit to work another miracle.

March 24 2014 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Elisabeth Woltman Supporter

It so easy to blame God. I have done it myself and then I stopped and prayed.
What's happened was so obvious that I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it earlier.
I was compelled to think what has caused the hurt.
It was not easy to admit to myself but very often my own action, my own will lead to being hurt.
So you see I couldn't blame God.
Ask your friend to consider his own actions. Has he followed his own will?

I am not saying that this is correct in all circumstances but very often it is.
Another matter worth considering, is that God might be testing him, his faith and his trust in Him.

Those are just my thoughts but considering those might be helpful.

March 24 2014 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Steve Nearman Supporter A sinner saved by grace. Fredericksburg, VA

Its important to understand that what the person is feeling and going through is real to them. The pain, frustration, discouragement, loss of hope is genuine and their actual experience. In helping such a person there are two factors in helping them through the trial. Imparting (truth through the scriptures) what God’s will is and his righteous nature; that He is merciful, loving and the God of all comfort plus why and who is actually to blame. John 10:9-10 John 16:33 John 14:26-27 When you come to the place that you can let the word of God take precedence over your feelings and thoughts, having trust and faith in Him, you are set free and will experience true peace even during the most difficult of trials.

The natural default of the way most of us think when facing trials and tribulation is, "Why is this happening to me." or "Is God punishing me for something I have done?" or "Why has God not protected me?". These are good question to ask ones self. Perhaps I am reaping what I have sown or being chastened. Heb 12:3-11 Where true peace comes in is when we can refocus our thoughts and reflect on what will I learn from this experience? How will God use this to strengthen and/or teach me something or increase my faith in Him rather than why me? There is benefit in suffering. Jam 1:2-4, 12 1Pet. 1:3-9 Eccl 7:3 Job 23:10 1Pet 5:10

Remind them that this to will pass, God understands and is here with you (if a believer) to help you get to the end and at the end there will be a benefit and reward for those who are exercised by the trial, tribulation or chasing.

Another thing to consider is that the world hates God and His children. We should expect conflict and turmoil as children of God if we are walking in His truth. John 15:18-19 1Joh 3:13 Rom 8:35-37 1Pet 4:16 

Also praying for God’s direction and will can help. James 5:16
Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

March 25 2014 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report